I say things like, “Because.” And like, “Why do you need to know?” And like, “Do I have to prove it to you?”
And then I say,
“Because when I see you crossing the street, I have to fight the impulse to run out meet you halfway and walk the rest of the way with you. And when you touched my hair for the first time, I didn’t roll my eyes. And I don’t want you to stop being nice to me, I just want you to keep going. And when I pictured having to explain to my dad that you’re a girl, it didn’t make me panic because I knew I could count on you not to run and to just stand still and I know that the two of you will love each other without question. Sometimes, when you laugh, you spit a little. But it doesn’t gross me out I just find it hilarious. And I really admire how you never reach for your phone during dinner and how you don’t care about social media even a little bit. But you also never judge me for asking you to take my picture for Instagram. And sometimes, you snore. But I just put in headphones because it doesn’t matter since you don’t mind that I can never sleep. And when you get me coffee, you never have to text me to remember that I don’t like milk in my cold brew. Because you make me laugh, and few do. And like, I genuinely laugh because you’re unintentionally hilarious and you never seem to be trying to be anyone other than exactly who you are. Because putting on this side of me with you feels natural and not like I’m slipping into a character. It feels comfortable, and it feels like coming home. And on that note, when you’re letting me know that you’re heading home, I actually pay attention to make sure you’re home safe. Because putting my arm around you feels like exactly what I’m supposed to be doing and making eye contact with you when we’re both thinking the same thing feels kismet. Because you validate my existence. Because you make me feel like I have a purpose outside of everything else. Because I don’t need to prove it to be sure. Because I am.”
And then when she kisses me, I don’t pull away. Because I don’t need to prove it. Because I am.