Thought Catalog

15 Little Ways You’re Self-Sabotaging The Best Years Of Your Life

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1. You’re self-sabotaging your life by comparing yourself to everyone around you. You’re never going to live a content life if you’re constantly judging yourself against the lives other people have. It’s one of the hardest things to learn not to do, but the sooner you realize that the one person to measure your success against is YOU the happier you will be.

2 You’re self-sabotaging by neglecting your health. Spoiler Alert: Not taking care of yourself (physically, mentally, and everything in between) is why you feel like shit. You don’t have to commit to being a gym rat or going completely plant based or even weekly therapy – but not doing what you need to do in order to function and take care of yourself? You’re frankly, doing yourself a pretty big disservice.

3. You’re self-sabotaging by giving people chances when they don’t deserve them. If you know someone is bad for you, and they’re acting exactly the same as they always have, it’s probably not a great decision to “hope they’ve changed.”

4. You’re self-sabotaging by listening to advice you didn’t really need. You don’t need to believe anyone who says, “That’s what your twenties are for.” If it (no matter what it is) doesn’t feel right, trust your gut.

5. You’re self-sabotaging by not really understanding the value of a dollar. You will thank yourself IMMENSELY if you just start saving $100 a month right now. In five years, that will be $6,000.

6. You’re self-sabotaging by not reaching out to the people you love. Call your family. Call your friends. Tell them how much you appreciate them and need them and love them. Don’t be one of those people who is consistently MIA and feels bad about it.

7. You’re self-sabotaging by not spreading your wings a little bit. If you feel stuck in a rut you probably are. But you know who can change that? You can. Don’t say no to things because they’re outside of what you typically do. Take some chances, live a little. At the very least, you’ll get some good stories out of it.

8. You’re self-sabotaging by living entirely behind a screen. We all love social media, but we all need to give it a rest. Social media is not real life, and acting as though it is is why we all are disappointed to not be walking around in an A6 or A7 VSCO filter. Remember that there is more to life than follows, likes, or status updates. You will feel vastly more full and content when you accept that.

9. You’re self-sabotaging by not thinking that there is more you could be doing. Being content is great, however, you owe it to yourself to also push yourself. If you never do, you’ll never know what you’re made of. And isn’t that worth figuring out?

10. You’re self-sabotaging by living your entire life for the weekend. Partying is a blast. Some of the best times of your life are going come from late nights, earlier mornings, and from acting a little wild. But you can’t lose yourself to partying. You want to be able to actually remember your memories, not just piece them together from blurry selfies and a national treasure map of bar stamps on your hand the next morning.

11. You’re self-sabotaging by never admitting when you’re wrong. Learn to apologize to people. Even when it sucks. Even when you don’t want to. Even when you feel like you yourself might be owed an apology. Learning to be the bigger person is something that will honestly serve you for the rest of your life. Figure out how to own your mistakes, seriously. It will make your life easier.

12. You’re self-sabotaging by refusing to change. You’re going to change as a person. Shocking; I know. But if you’re constantly balking at growth because it doesn’t look how you thought it would? All you’re really doing is just stunting yourself from becoming who you were meant to be.

13. You’re self-sabotaging by planning everything out and thinking you can out-smart life. “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans,” is a cliché saying for a reason. If you think you can plan your life out to a t, you’re wrong.

14. You’re self-sabatoging by not speaking up for yourself. You know what you need, you know how you feel, you know what you want to say. So say it. Be your own best advocate. You can’t expect anyone else to do it, so do it for yourself.

15. You’re self-sabotaging by not allowing yourself space and permission to just exist. Lastly, you owe it to yourself to just give yourself a damn break. No one ever accomplished everything they set out to, or built their “dream life” (if that even exists) in a day. You deserve to give yourself the kind of patience you give other people. You have time. You can relax. You will be okay. Even better than okay, you’re probably going to be incredible. You just have to allow yourself to get there. TC mark

The Big Bad Heartbreak Book

Written in the wake of a difficult relationship and breakup, The Big Bad Heartbreak Book by Kendra Syrdal takes the reader on a roller coaster of emotions that can only come post breakup. This is not a breakup book about the beautiful things we learn from big, bad, terrible heartbreak. This is a breakup book about everything else.

“This book is heartbreaking and honest. I felt for her (Kendra) again and again. (…) You also feel her strength. You feel her pick herself up and move forward. ” —missbuckeye

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Poetry that will change you

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.” — James Altucher

You’ve never read poetry like this before

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