Thought Catalog

Here’s Why You’re Not In Love (Yet), Based On Your Birth Order

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God & Man

Oldest

You haven’t learned how to meet people in the middle

Compromise is pretty difficult for you and you have a tendency to be opinionated to a fault. Relationships (especially healthy loving ones) are built on compromise. Until you can learn to talk less, listen more, and find common ground, emotions like love aren’t going to come very easily to you. You’re probably used to taking charge and getting your way. And while that’s all fine and good, it’s not going to form a relationship that will end up hitting the big L. When you find someone who makes you want to hit pause, take the backseat, loosen up, and surrender some of the control? That’s when you’ll really, truly fall in love.

Somewhere In The Middle

You don’t know how to love yourself enough yet

Peacekeepers like yourself are some of the best types of people to be around. That being said, when you’re so used to being there for other people, to making them feel good, it can be really easy to lose yourself along the way. As cliché as it is, we accept the love we think we deserve. And if you don’t even think about it? Well, it can’t really come to you. You need to take a step back, get in touch with yourself, learn about who you are and want to be, and that’s when you’ll be the kind of person who’s receptive to the idea of actually falling in love.

Youngest

You’re not done exploring.

As a youngest you’re filled with a never ending sense of curiosity and thirst for adventure. Your one of those people whose inner child never goes away and you never stop looking at where there could be more in your life. Where this gets to be a problem is you can be flighty, indecisive, and semi-insatiable. You’re kind of the classic embodiment of “needing to sow your wild oats” before settling down. You’ll probably have lots of little loves, but your big one won’t happen until you feel like you’re ready to stop.

Twin

You need to gain some independence.

Let’s face it. You’re completely used to the idea of having someone there all the time. In the simplest of terms, you crave closeness. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can distract you in a way. Instead of actually being in love, it becomes very easy for you to confuse extra attention for the actually sensation of being in love. You need to be able to be completely content with yourself and who you are before being able to trust yourself enough to fall in love. As soon as you’re confident with you, you can also be confident in love with someone who deserves all of you.

Only Child

You haven’t found someone you’re willing to let in.

To be brutally honest, you have your guard up a lot of the time and you can be very difficult to read. You’re completely comfortable being by yourself and with your own thoughts, but that can make you standoff-ish to others. So be honest with yourself. Admit that you can’t expect to fall in love with someone without letting them get to the real you in the process. If you’re not willing to be vulnerable, you’re not willing to fall in love. It’s pretty plain and simple. TC mark

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