1. The incessant need for approval. It’s natural (and good!) to want to succeed and be well-liked and have people give you that metaphorical gold star for your accomplishments. But caring too much about approval from others will only end up disappointing you in the long run. Accomplish things for you and do things because you enjoy them. Approval should be a bonus, not a motivating factor.
2. Comparing your success to the successes of others. When you look at someone and see their accomplishments and successes, you’re ONLY seeing those. You aren’t seeing the times when they misstepped or fucked up or sat in their room at 2 AM questioning everything. But those moments happened. Even the most successful person has felt like an utter failure more than once. Wins look better on Instagram, but it doesn’t mean they’re the only things that happen.
3. A fear of rejection. Rejection is reality. If you think it doesn’t happen, you’re living in a haze. Rather than fear rejection, just accept that it’s a part of inevitably succeeding. If you stop fearing something, you take away its power. And that’s pretty badass.
4. Letting yourself be bored. If you know that sitting on your butt, watching the same TV show for another 8 hours isn’t going to fulfill you, the stop doing that. If you feel uninspired but aren’t changing your surroundings, stop whining about it. Stop seeing boredom as something out of your control. Go make your life interesting.
5. A “timeline” or “checklist” you force yourself to live by. The quickest way to have life through you a massive curveball is by making a plan that you swear you aren’t going to divert from. It’s okay to have plans, it’s okay to make a roadmap, but don’t pretend it’s the end all be all. You’ll only end up disappointed.
6. Habits you have that you hate. It takes 21 days to break a habit. If you want to break it, why not start today?
7. People in your life who only bring you down. Severing ties with people is never going to be easy. It’s never going to be fun. But if they don’t serve your life or better it in some way, there’s no use in holding onto them. You’re just avoiding the inevitable, and the longer you wait the harder it will be.
8. Complacency. No one ever said, “Wow, they could use a little less self-awareness.” Sitting in your bubble just sitting there saying, “I guess this is good enough,” instead of looking outside of yourself is no way to live. You owe yourself more. You owe the world more.
9. Letting people walk all over you. It is completely possible to speak up for yourself and to say no without being rude. Would you let someone talk down or unnecessarily boss around your best friend? No. So be your own best friend. Advocate for yourself. Make yourself unfuckwithable.
10. Not forgiving yourself for your mistakes. You’re going to slip, you’re going to falter, you’re going to wrong people, you’re going to do things that embarrass you. And it’s going to be okay. Learn to shake it off. Learn to let things go.
11. Refusing to forgive other people for theirs. People are going to slip, they’re going to falter, they’re going to wrong you, they’re going to embarrass themselves in front of you. And you need to learn how to be okay with it. Learn to shake it off. Let to let things go. Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is freeing.
12. The idea that there’s only one soulmate out there. You can have many soulmates at the different stages of your time on this Earth. The sooner you accept that the sooner you’ll start seeing possibilities in people.
13. Settling for “whatever” when you know you can do better. If something feels like the personification of beige and you’d rather have turquoise or lavender or any random shade of green, stop settling for beige. Want more, look for more, do more. Stop being okay with ending up around 60%. You deserve the full 100.
14. Judging other people purely based on social media. Take everything you see on social media with a grain of salt. It’s packaged and pretty and not realistic. And it’s definitely not worth losing sleep over.
15. Being irresponsible in the name of self-care. Self-care is fantastic and important and crucial to living your best life. But behaving irrationally or in a way that negatively impacts your future and others in the name of “self-care” is hypocritical, irresponsible, and is frankly, bratty. Self-care isn’t an end all be all excuse to do whatever you want or behave how you feel like behaving. Remember that.
16. The idea that you’re not “enough.” You may not be for everyone, and you may not be made for every situation. But that doesn’t mean you’re lacking or less than in anyway. You’re enough just as you are. And you will find the places and the people where you fit perfectly. You just have to look.