There’s a specific sort of woman who willingly labels herself “complicated.” And no, I’m not talking about the girl who is so wrapped up in her own perceived originality that she constantly talking about how “different” she is, how she feels constantly “misunderstood” and is so lacking in self-awareness that she refuses to see that truly, everyone is a little different and we’re all a bit misunderstood.
The woman who is truly complicated, isn’t loud about it.
She calls herself “complicated” yes, but only internally. Only to herself. Only in a way of self-acknowledgment.
Maybe she’s been burned from past relationships, past loves. Maybe she’s always been told she’s too this and too that and never just enough. Maybe she’s constantly explaining herself instead of just having people say, “I get you.”
For one reason or another, she’s complicated.
And the truth about being complicated, is that often, it complicates pretty much everything.
It’s what makes it difficult when you’re trying to make friends and you worry about “coming on too strong” or “rubbing someone the wrong way.” It’s what makes people at work (and in life) call you “intimidating” and why you struggle with finding your place. It’s why so often, you’ve felt like you don’t belong.
And when it comes to dating and love, it makes everything difficult. It makes it hard for you to open up, to be honest about your feelings and your emotions. It makes trusting someone seemingly impossible. It makes you feel like you’re never going to be someone’s “forever” only their “right now.”
It’s why you always feel like you’re being passed over for the simple girl, and the simple relationship, because you’re always just too much.
But really, it’s not simple as what Carrie Bradshaw said when she so famously categorized women as the “simple girls” and the “Katie girls.” Being complicated, and being a complicated woman at that, doesn’t inherently split you away from the “simple girls.” It’s not that cut and dry. It’s not that black and white.
Because the truth is, we’re all complicated girls. Every last one of us.
And only difference between the simple girl that they’ve chosen, and the complicated girl that you are?
It’s just that they chose her.
And it’s making you feel more complicated than ever.
And it hurts. It hurts to hear that you’re too much, that you’re too this and too that. That you’re misunderstood and intimidating. That you’re ultimately unlovable.
But the extended truth about the “simple girl” that you need to admit to yourself and accept?
Someone not loving you and all of your rough edges and messiness and complicated way of being has nothing to do with her. It just means that they were never going to be enough for you.
There’s a specific sort of woman who willingly labels herself “complicated.” And she’s probably not loud about it, she just acknowledges it.
But there’s also a specific sort of person who will love a complicated girl.
They are unafraid and bold, they are unwavering and accepting. They know how to forgive, and they know how to be present. They aren’t afraid of taking their time and they aren’t looking for someone to run after, but run beside.
The person who loves a complicated girl, is just as complicated as her. And in that mutual complication, they find coexistence. They find peace. They find love.
And when they do? All of a sudden even the most complicated girl will find herself feeling easy to love. She’ll feel like it’s effortless. She’ll feel less complicated. She’ll feel like enough.
She’ll feel completely and perfectly simple.
And it’ll be well worth wait.