Here’s Why You’re Still Single, Based On Your Birth Order

First Born

As an oldest child you have a tendency to be incredibly type A, love routines, and have an extremely high level of expectation that you put onto other people. You like things to be done how you want them to be done. You want to do things when and how you want to do them. You want people to behave the way you expect them to. Quite simply, you can have a very “my way or the highway” mentality and that’s not only intimidating and off-putting, it’s unrealistic and unfair.

You’ll find a relationship when you start figuring out how to balance your need for everything to be done the “right way” with making sure your partner is also happy with the process. When you learn to compromise, have discussions rather than just telling them what to do, and learn to lighten up a little bit – that’s when you’ll find yourself in a healthy, happy relationship.

Somewhere In The Middle

It’s been heavily instilled in you as a middle child to be compliant and non-confrontational. While this can be a great asset (you’re calm and not easily shaken) it can also be your fatal flaw. Rather than say what bothers you you’ll stay quiet and bottle it up which can lead to all out explosions when you reach your breaking point. Plus that passivity can lead to a “whatever” sort of attitude, causing you to not chase and pursue the things that you want or make it known how you feel about others.

In order to find a healthy relationship that lasts, you have to find your voice. You have to learn how to have productive conversations, not balk when things are tense, and make sure that the person you’re with knows how important they are to you. You can’t keep things to yourself, you have to open up. And once you do, you’ll find yourself in your best relationship yet.


You are all go go go and you have been called “a lot to handle” more times than you can count. You are single because, quite frankly, you’re too distracted to be in a relationship. You want to try everything, do everything, go absolutely everywhere. That flightiness and impulsivity doesn’t make you a good partner, and so you are in a perpetual state of “sort of dating” or “just talking to” people because the second they require too much from you, you’re out the door.

You will be in a relationship when you figure out how to hit the pause button and sit still with someone. You have to learn that consistency isn’t a death sentence, and a little routine never hurt anyone. Once you grow up a little is when you’ll finally be ready to really be with someone.


You’re used to having someone who automatically and always gets you and is connected to you. You have a tendency to think of people as mind readers, and they’re not. No one is ever going to be as instinctually connected to you as your twin, and putting the same level of expectation on them is, frankly, ridiculous. By doing this, you are also closing yourself off to people and making yourself seem unobtainable and unapproachable — neither of which are qualities people want in a partner.

You’ll get into a relationship that lasts when you find the ability to speak up for yourself and ask for what you want and need. When you stop assuming that people will just know what to do and know what you’re thinking. When you get real with people, that’s when you’ll find real love.

Only Child

You are difficult and stubborn, and have a hard time looking outside of yourself and seeing your own faults. You have a tendency to place blame rather than look at yourself as the possible perpetrator.  People have a hard time getting to know you because you keep them at an arm’s length, and because you don’t often admit when you’re wrong making you slightly short sighted. It’s not that you’re vindictive or spiteful, you just need to remember to check yourself.

You will end up in a relationship when you learn to put other’s needs before yourself and your own, and gain a healthy amount of self-awareness. When you stop deflecting your problems through either complete denial or shifting the blame is when you’ll become a much better partner. And in turn, you’ll be ready for a love that is actually whole and complete. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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Kendra Syrdal


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