27 Things I Have Learned In 27 Years

1. It is possible to train yourself to do/get used to almost anything. I used to never get up in the morning, now I’m up pretty much every day before 7:30 AM. I never ate veggies in my younger years, I’ve been a vegetarian for almost two years. If you want to do something or change something and are worried about it being “hard”…you’ll adjust. You can adjust to anything.

2. People are going to come and go and there’s nothing you can do about it. Friendships will fade away, relationships will change. It doesn’t mean that it’s not going to hurt or suck, but it’s an inevitability of getting older. All fighting it will do is prolong the hurt.

3. It is possible to wear the same shirt many days in a row without washing it and no one will notice. But like…you shouldn’t. You probably kind of smell like stale deodorant.

4. Your parents were right about a lot. And you were just an asshole teenager and all they could think was, “Just you wait, kiddo. Just you wait.”

5. But they’re still people too. But they aren’t perfect, they have emotions, they are human beings with layers and feelings and flaws. Everyone on this Earth, your parents included, is a messed up weird little skin suit just like you.

6. If your very expensive electronic has an insurance plan that you can purchase, do it. Apple care has saved me on more than one occasion and I’ve gotten a cellphone replaced after leaving mine in a bar. Just insure your stuff, you’ll be glad you did it.

7. Just because you think it, doesn’t mean you should say it. No one is a literal ray of glitter and rainbows and happiness all the time. We’ve all had a dickish thought once or twice (or more.) But you don’t have to be a dick, you really don’t.

8. It’s completely possible to adamantly dislike someone, and never let them know. Politeness and the act of being fair will outweigh almost anything, and you’ll be a better person because of it.

9. Most of the ideas you come up with when drunk are terrible and you should never do them. For instance, cutting your own hair. Or cooking. Or using a fire extinguisher for fun.

10. Pouring a drink on someone will feel really validating. But you will also never be able to go back to that bar ever again. And you will look like a crazy bitch. So decide whether or not it’s worth it and commit.

11. “No thanks, I don’t want to.” Is a perfectly valid reason not to do something. You don’t need to come up with excuses or reasons if you don’t want to do something. “No.” is a complete sentence.

12. When you’re feeling down, it’s hard to stay down when watching videos of kids being ridiculous. I recommend this one, and also this one.

13. Burning bridges is stupid and a really crappy way to conduct yourself professionally. They might light your way and all of that bullshit, or you could use the bridge for its actual intended purpose. Leave places with your head held high and don’t give them a reason to be able to say, “We’re glad she’s gone.” It’ll be better for you in the long run.

14. But it’s 100% okay to leave a situation if it’s not right. But don’t stay just to keep from rocking the boat. If something isn’t right, change it. Leave. Just leave with dignity.

15. Just because you like watching Top Gun at 3 in the morning when you can’t sleep doesn’t mean your neighbors and/or roommates want to watch it with you. Aka: be respectful and keep Maverick and Goose at a reasonable decibel.

16. Everybody FaceTunes, even Beyoncé. Everyone puts filters on things, whitens their teeth, and edits their photos. Photoshop isn’t just for magazine covers anymore. It’s literally everywhere.

17. But nobody really needs to. (Especially Beyoncé.) Filters and Facetuning are fun, but you look fine. Really.

18. Your life will get exponentially better when you learn to take time for yourself. You deserve self-care, you deserve you time. And when you realize this and learn to treat yourself from time to time, life is going to get better.

19. Being able to laugh at yourself makes everything a little easier. Nothing is more exhausting than someone who takes things too seriously. Laugh at yourself. Make fun of yourself. You’ll be happier.

20. It’s totally possible to do a 180 and change everything about your life if you really want to. If you do not want to be something, somewhere, or doing whatever you’re doing, you absolutely have the power to change your life. Change your circumstances. Make your own happiness. Make your life one that you are proud of.

21. Life is too short to say no to Taco Bell. Health and exercise are important, but just eat the fucking crunch wrap if that’s what you want. Who cares.

22. Trusting your gut will almost never steer you in the wrong direction. 99.9% of the time, your gut knows what’s up. So trust it.

23. Nobody’s life is as good as their Instagram. Everyone retakes their selfie and posts pictures only when their brunch looks flawless. Their life is never going to be as good as you think it is while you’re mindlessly swiping on your phone.

24. You’re going to get zits forever. It will always be annoying. And make you feel insecure. And you will always want to pop them.

25. Flaking on people is not cool. It’s always a better choice to just let someone know when you’re not going to do something. Don’t bail on people. It always will make them feel like shit and you don’t want to be responsible for that.

26. Generally speaking, most people actually want to help other people. You just have to ask.

27. You’re doing just fine. Really.