I wish I could guarantee that you would never hurt. I wish I could say that everything would always be comfortable and happy and that your dreams would always be peaceful and sweet. I wish I could fill your head with promises of smooth sailing and that I could assure you that everything really does work out in the end.
But I can’t. And it doesn’t.
Because promises that everything will be all right are empty and unrealistic.
The fact of the matter is, you will hurt, you won’t be all right all of the time. Someone or something will come around and knock you off your comfort shelf, and shatter you in every way imaginable. You will be broken, and broken badly.
And the hardest part about your pain, will be the search for why it’s happening.
You’ll look for meaning, you’ll look for a reason. You’ll put yourself under a metaphorical microscope and dissect every inch of yourself, looking for the cause, for the root of your pain. You’ll rip apart everything that happened to you, pull out every stitch from mending yourself to try to have a definite why.
And you know what’s going to happen?
You’re going to come up empty handed
Maybe not every time, but at least once in your life this will be the case.
There will be a time in your life where you are left in pieces on the floor, completely trampled and walked all over and there will be no why. There will be no reason, no warning, no karma you’re paying back. It will just be.
Sometimes, we’re just in pain. Sometimes, we just ache. Sometimes, there isn’t a bandaid to put on our gaping wounds. Sometimes, we just bleed.
So what do you do? What do you do with this pain, and these bruises, and this hurt? What do you do with the devastation that seemingly has no meaning? What do you do with the hurt that you cannot explain?
You simply have to learn how to live with it.
You have to accept that even though it’s natural for humans to look for the why, sometimes there isn’t one. Sometimes there is no why, no reason. And not matter how hard you search, no matter how much you want for there to be some semblance of closure, some sort of explanation, there just isn’t.
There isn’t anything to make of your pain. No matter how hard you grasp, how desperately you attempt to mold and make something out your heartbreak, there’s nothing. There’s just pain. And it’s awful.
Sometimes there is no poetry, no music, no artistic reasoning behind your pain.
Sometimes it just is. And that’s the most heartbreaking thing of all.
Because sometimes, we’re simply meant to hurt. And hurt for no reason at all.
But the one common denominator? The one piece of comfort that you can hold onto while you’re lying on the floor bruised, battered and broken?
We all go through it.
Absolutely no one gets through life unscathed. Every person is dealt some sort of hand and some sort of pain that shakes them to their core. Every person on this planet, goes through something that makes them want to stay in bed forever.
Every person hurts for no reason sometimes.
But there is a choice we have when we are hurt, when we’re in pain.
And that is (quite simply), what we do with it.
Do we let it render us useless? Do we let it overpower us and leave us helpless on the floor, beaten down and defeated? Do we let the lack of explanation make us completely traumatized and unable to deal?
Or, do we recognize that sometimes, we are simply meant to hurt, and that despite this, we can survive it?
See, I cannot guarantee that you will never hurt. I cannot say that everything will always be comfortable and happy and that your dreams will always be peaceful and sweet. I will not fill your head with promises of smooth sailing and I will absolutely never assure you that everything really does work out in the end.
In fact, I will promise the opposite.
I will guarantee that you will hurt, and you will hurt profoundly. I know that there will be days, weeks, months, years where you are not comfortable, and so far from happy you forget what it feels like. I know that you will have nightmares and sleepless nights, and I know that it will not always be smooth sailing and sometimes things just don’t work out for no reason at all.
But I also know one other thing.
In spite of all of that, in spite of the fact that you will hurt…
You’ll be okay.
Really. I promise.