18 Little Things You’ll Totally Recognize If You’re An Only Child (And Proud Of It)

Ben Seidelman
Ben Seidelman

1. You have a strange, overwhelming need to figure out how exactly you can be the center of attention.

Yes, you want all eyes on you all the time. You want to be the funniest, the most engaging, the person that everyone wants to be around. You crave attention and feel really weird and uncomfortable when you don’t get enough of it.

2. You have really bizarre sleep patterns and habits.

You probably didn’t really have a bedtime or a curfew to adhere to because there were no other kids, just you. So now even as an adult, you’re the kid who doesn’t want to go to bed. You probably sprawl out in bed like a damn starfish, have a special spot for your laptop and snacks, have two pillows that are YOURS, and just generally are the weirdest person every sleep wise.

3. You genuinely enjoy people watching.

Sitting silently for a couple of hours with a beer or a coffee just watching people walk by? Fascinating. Like seriously, absolutely fascinating. You are so, so content to do that all day.

4. Sometimes (without meaning to) your mind wanders to the most bizarre places mid-conversation.

It probably stems from having to hang around boring adults all the time. One minute you’ll be listening to Chrissy’s story about her friends at the beach, and then somehow you’re thinking about how you read that it’s possible to poison yourself by drinking too much water. You don’t mean any harm by it, you just have a tendency to daydream.

5. Immediacy is your biggest turn on.

You can go do something right NOW?! You don’t have to wait?! Oh yes yes yes yes yes. Since you never had any siblings to account for you never really got that good at the waiting game. So immediate satisfaction is something that you just loooooove.

6. Your parents are the most contacted people in your phone. And you’re not ashamed.

You guys hung out a lot, you spent a lot of time together. You’re close and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Calling your parents and talking about anything and everything (and sometimes nothing) is near and dear to your heart.

7. There are some friends who are way in your space and you realize they don’t understand how abnormal it is for you.

No you cannot just rifle through our things that is AWFUL. It’s not that you’re opposed to sharing, you just like your stuff and your space and when someone is in it too much it’s overwhelming. Boundaries are your best friend.

8. Much like Joey Tribbiani, you do not share food.

Get outta here with that reach across the table for a fry. If you want something you better ask or be prepared for a slap on the hand.

9. You probably think really highly of yourself.

You are the quintessential ‘gold star for everything’ kid. You probably received lots of positive affirmations and were told how great you were on a daily basis. So your self-confidence? Untouchable. Confidence is your superpower.

10. But at the same time you’re your own worst critic.

Since you’re so unshakeable when it comes to outside opinions it means you hold yourself to a really high standard. You are probably OVERLY critical of your own actions. You don’t get caught up in what other people think, just what you yourself think. You gotta remember to get out of your own head every now and then. It’s healthier that way.

11. Your emotional maturity has never matched where you actually are in life.

At eight you were hanging out at cocktail parties and business events so you were like a tiny adult and had the vocabulary to match. In your college years you got to reinvent yourself and be whoever you wanted, so you likely were a little crazy and out there. You’ve always felt torn between being a kid and a grown up, and you probably always will.

12. You feel connected to your pets on a deep, deep level.

They were your furry siblings. They were your confidants. They were your best friends. You to this day have an almost unhealthy obsession/relationship with your animals because they were so important to you while you were growing up.

13. If someone asks to borrow something you have a mini internal crisis.

“But…are you going to take care of it? Are you going to treat it exactly how I treat it? How long will you have it? When will I get it back? What happens if I get it back and it’s not THE SAME?!” *passes out on the floor from too many thoughts*

14. Compliments are the quickest way to your heart.

You grew up with tons of affirmation and attention and now it’s how you most easily recognize affection. So if someone tells you they like your hair or are excited to see you or calls you funny? Signed, sealed, delivered; your theirs.

15. You fundamentally do not understand why anyone would leave the bathroom door open.

Privacy people. P R I V A C Y. Not everything has to be shared, kids.

16. You ask, “Why?” all the goddamn time.

You question things, you like to understand the reasoning behind everything. Your parents probably treated you like you were older than you were so “because I said so” wasn’t really heard in your house. You were encouraged to ask questions, and you still do it to this day.

17. Loneliness is not an emotion that you find even a little scary.

You were alone a lot so you never learned to associate it with something bad. It was just your reality. You’re very comfortable doing really anything by yourself and it makes you a super independent person.

18. You recognize, and willingly/freely acknowledge, how great your life is.

Only children had pretty dope childhoods and make even doper grown ups. You know it, and you aren’t ashamed to tell anyone and everyone. Your life is pretty fantastic, and no one’s gonna tell you otherwise. TC mark

I asked women to be honest about their Instagram photos

“The essays in this book are short and sweet, and incredible. Love love loved this.” — Alex

“I’m so in love with this book! It’s so moving and some of the stories bring me to tears not because it’s sad, but because it’s relatable and shows that we’re not alone.” — Kendra

This is the reality of Instagram...

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