1. Not talking over people is a huge struggle for you.
You don’t do it to be rude, that’s never the intent. You just have so many ideas and so much to say that sometimes everything just comes out. You’re probably the person who makes random notes in margins or crosses your fingers to remember something. It’s not that you think your ideas are better or what you have to say is more important, you just HAVE to say it.
2. You constantly worry about ‘over-stepping’ or ‘talking out of turn’ — even as an adult.
You probably grew up being told to use your “inside voice” all of the time and that’s stuck with you until now, in many different ways. Your brain is always going and you always have so many thoughts that you feel the need to express. But with wanting to express them comes the fear that you’re talking out of turn or saying something you shouldn’t. You’ve made the mistake MANY times and so the worry lingers, even as you grow up.
3. There’s nothing you hate more than being told to ‘tone it down’.
It’s the equivalent of “dulling your sparkle” and it’s just a sucky thing to say to someone. Every now and then you come across people who can’t handle your big personality and the way you fill up a room, and it’s awkward and uncomfortable for both parties. You know that you don’t need those people in your life, but it still stings when someone tells you to be quiet or “chill” every time.
4. Your biggest fear is if someone is mad at you.
You love your friends and your co-workers and the people who are close to you so the thought that one of them might not want you around? Devastating. Like so devastating that it has the potential to send you into a tailspin if you think about it for too long.
5. You have ‘last word’ syndrome.
Arguing, discussing, or even getting into fights is hard for you because you always have something more to say. Even if it’s just a sarcastic, “Omg you’re SO right” you always have to have the last word. And if you don’t? It totally eats at you.
6. You find yourself obsessing over conversations hours, days, even weeks after they’ve happened.
Because your brain is so wired towards connection and conversation, you find yourself analyzing every little piece of it. You obsess over punctuation in texts, the way someone said “I mean…” when opposing an idea of yours in a meeting, why your significant other called you by your first name instead of babe like normal. There are times when you let conversations that are since over fester and you obsess over them way longer than you should.
7. You worry about what others think about you maybe a little too much.
You want to be liked, you want people to be drawn to you. You always want people to talk about you with an, “I want to hang out with them again” kind of vibe around your name. So you worry all the time that someone thinks you’re too much or you’ve come off wrong. Even though you know logically that not everyone is going to like you and you are not for everyone, it still bothers you when it happens.
8. You repeatedly have to assure people that you’re all right on days where you’re more quiet.
Extroverts have quiet days too. Even the loudest, most bubbly, friendliest life of the party will have a day where all the want to do is listen to Ingrid Michaelson with headphones and not speak to anyone. And that’s totally okay. It doesn’t mean you’re depressed or sick; you’re just having a quiet day. BUT people don’t seem to get it, and that’s really annoying and it takes away some of the “just being quiet” when you have to keep explaining that you’re just fine.
9. You feel like people expect you to like and be friends with everyone.
Sure, you want to be liked, you want people to be around you. But just because you are usually inclined to be likable, doesn’t mean you’re going to want to be around just any person, any time, any place. Sometimes you won’t like someone for no reason at all. But because of your natural inclination to be social and with people, it can be easy for people to assume you just like everyone. Not the case. And super awkward to explain when you say you don’t want to go hang out with someone.
10. You compare yourself to others more than people would think.
You get in your own head a lot about your own behavior more than people would assume. You look at people you admire, and you try to figure out what they do that makes you so drawn to them, and then you try to emulate it. Or you see someone who people like and who people talk about all the time, and you worry that they have some sort of “it factor” that you don’t. It can get pretty exhausting.
11. You’re always worried about being annoying.
You’re loud, you’re out there, you always have something to say. But that rubs some people the wrong way. You always want to be on someone’s good side, have them think fondly about you and want you around. So the idea that your personality, by simply being who you are might annoy or bother them? It’s awful. And you think about it a lot.
12. You feel an enormous pressure to keep everyone around you entertained.
When you’re the social butterfly, or the life of the party, or just “the fun one” it can be a lot of pressure to make sure everyone’s having a good time. While you know that it’s really NOT your responsibility to be the keeper of the fun, it just feels like something that comes with the territory of being the token extroverted friend. Still, you love your friends and you would do anything for them. So keeping everyone smiling? It’s not that big of a deal.