42 Thoughts That Go Through Your Head When You’re Way Too High For Your Own Good

Dazed and Confused
Dazed and Confused

1. Oh dude this is fine, I’m not like not even high.

2. *stands up* fuuuuuuuck that was a mistake.

3. Maybe I can just sit down and it will go away.

4. Mmmmm nope I’m melting into the couch.

5. Goodbye forever, cruel world. This couch is my home now. I am the couch and the couch is me.

6. I wonder if those guys know how high I am…

7. I’ll just sit reeeeeally still so they don’t know how baked I actually am. That’s it. Fool proof.

8. Oh god I haven’t moved in like 4 hours. Is this permanent?

9. Oh wait…it’s been a minute?! Just one minute?! What’s happening to time?!

10. Lol.

11. I wonder what snacks are in the kitchen. I’ll just go take a quick look…

12. Omg pasta. And butter. And sugar. And honey nut Cheerios. And Sriracha. YES.

13. *mixes them all together* I am the Mario Batali of stoned snackage. We will never go hungry again.

14. I wonder if I could patent this recipe…

15. No, the food is gone…but I’m still starving…

16. Omg I’ve never been this hungry in my entire life.

17. Is this what it feels like to starve to death? Oh god it is, isn’t it?!


19. Oh wait…I have Postmates…

20. Yes, Megan from Postmates. I DID mean to order 17 orders of fries and a small Sprite. SHEESH.

21. This is the best idea I’ve ever had. Why aren’t people ALWAYS high? We’d come up with GREAT ideas.

22. Oh shit I’m spinning. This is why no one stays high forever.

23. Wait…this isn’t going to last forever…right?!

24. Okay it’s fine I’ll just lay on the floor and that will help.

25. Oh god this carpet is the softest most magical thing I’ve ever touched…

26. Dammit. Everyone is LOOKING at me again.

27. Just act natural. God you’re such a paranoid stoner…

28. Sitting not making eye contact is natural right?

29. Oh god they KNOW. They’re gonna tell on me.

30. Help. HELP.

31. Oh wait…they’re high too. Lol. It’s fine.

32. I wonder if the colors that I see are the same colors that everyone sees…maybe my purple is HIS green. Woah.

33. Dude my brain is like…breathing right now. I can FEEL it breathing.

34. This is amazing. I’m getting high again all the time.

35. Food tastes better, everyone is funnier, this is seriously the best.

36. I just fucking love these people man.

37. Lol.

38. Ugh since when did just sitting and watching reruns of Love It or List It get so tiring?

39. Yeah seriously…I need to take a snooze.

40. I’ll just shut my eyes for five minutes…

41. *six and a half hours later.*

42. …dude where’s my Postmates? Thought Catalog Logo Mark


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