Thought Catalog

Give Yourself The Closure They Never Did

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Tushar Escape

“Get closure.”

That’s what people tell you.

That’s the trick to getting over someone.

“Get closure.”

But what happens when you don’t get it?

When that very last argument, is the last time you’ll see each other.

When once it’s over, it’s over. There is no “let’s talk about this.”

The relationship ends, and that’s all.

You’re left with questions running through your head that they’re never going to answer. The sheets get colder and the coffee pot still makes enough for two.

What do you do?

You “get closure.”

Not from them, but from you.

You give yourself the closure you never got.

You delete their number. Erase the pictures off your phone. Write down all those questions, and all the reasons why they were never really meant for you.

You take yourself on dates, spend time with friends, and listen to music that speaks to your soul.

You answer those questions yourself.

Sure, we may never truly know the answer, and that’s okay.

But we can try.

Try to understand that sometimes you don’t get that 1am ‘I miss you’ text. Sometimes you don’t get to tell them all the things you wish you should have said. Sometimes the only way you know they’re still around, is through running into a mutual friend.

So what? you take yourself to the play you two were supposed to see together.

So what? you take your friend as your wedding date.

Either way, it’s going to be okay.

You make coffee for one, you read a nice book, and you spend three hours in the bath.

One day you’ll turn on the radio to your song, and the pain won’t hurt so bad. One day you’ll get asked where they’ve been, and instead of dreading it you answer “We broke up but I hope they’re doing well.” And you’ll mean it.

The past will soon become the past, and you’ll know that’s where you should leave it.

You put on an extra blanket to mask the coldness of your bed.

You create new memories.

You smile again.

That is your closure. TC mark

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