Everyone has specific behaviors in a relationship with the way they attach (or don’t attach) to people. The “attachment theory” highlights the three types of attachments: secure, anxious, and avoidant.

When I think about the people I know and have known, I can’t help but also think about what attachment type they could be.

Secure Attachment

How do you know if you’re secure in a relationship? There’s no jealousy or possessive behavior. There’s only stability and comfort. You are confident in the other person and confident in the relationship. When you feel safe and secure enough with someone, then you fall in love. Your person will give you a sense of home.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’re individualistic but also a team player, and because of that balance, you’re very secure in your relationships. No matter their personality, you’ll know things will work out because it’s just so easy for you to make it work.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Point blank, you know who you are and what you want in a relationship. You know what tf is up and you’re super secure with it. When you find that person, everything is smooth sailing. 

Anxious Attachment

Your heart is kinda insecure and anxious. When you fall for someone, you fall fast, head first, and wearing your heart on your sleeve. You slip into the same relationship patterns of falling for people who are unstable and inconsistent and that’s where your anxiety stems from. You expect the worst because you’ve experienced the worst.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

When you put yourself in vulnerable situations, which is often, you get so anxious that you tend to isolate yourself.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You tend to isolate yourself, especially when you’re hurting. You crave reassurance and sometimes you can be super needy about it.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22) 

You overanalyze situations and crave reassurance for everything. You’re a perfectionist and that tends to go hand-in-hand with your anxiety.

Avoidant Attachment

There’s two kinds of avoidant attachment (or detachment, if you will): dismissive and fearful.

Dismissive-avoidant

It takes time for someone to prove themselves to you and to convince you that you can trust them. You need to know that it’s okay to be close to someone. You always seem to need space and you tend to avoid relationships in fear of rejection. To other people, it comes across as if you only care about yourself.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) 

You think you’re #1 and that people need to prove themselves to you. You don’t mind waiting for someone to come around and try hard to gain your trust.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Reserved? Definitely. It takes a while for you to open up to someone because you like to be independent. You’ll show love for someone once they prove themselves to you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22) 

You tend to stand your ground as the independent person you are. People might think that you think the world revolves around you, but you’re just afraid of rejection so you avoid relationships completely.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) 

You’re a pretty secretive person and it takes a lot for you to open up to people. Once you do open up to someone, you tend to get a little possessive.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19) 

You stick through the hard times because you know that there’s always something good to come. So if that means if you’re having a hard time trusting someone right away, it’s fine, because eventually you’ll get there. You’re just gonna stand your ground and wait until then.

Fearful-avoidant

You’re afraid all the time. If you’re getting too close to someone, you’re afraid that maybe you’re coming on too strong or that they could slip away. So maybe you distance yourself then. Oh! Wait! You’re afraid they might leave you. It’s a vicious cycle.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) 

Some days you let yourself be close to someone and other days you completely distance yourself; you have a hard time finding that happy medium and it makes you fearful of what could come.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re so afraid of doing the most or not doing enough (in other words: you try and look for balance!) and so you just avoid people entirely because you don’t know how to handle it all.

With every person comes a zodiac sign and an attachment style. Sometimes it can be a mix of two styles. I mean…it’s basic science.