Sometimes, we tend to believe that there is a specific intention for anything and everything that is said or done to us and that it could impact us negatively. We believe it so fiercely that it ends up manifesting itself in the way we dress, communicate, present ourselves, and everything in between. It’s not so much an act of diligence, but more so the need to self-preserve. If you have a chronic, bad habit of thinking too hard about everything, from how someone will judge your outfit to what a job recruiter might think of your resume, let me share with you why this thought process is totally unnecessary.
1. You are preventing yourself from new experiences
If you let what you think others think control your own mindset, you are going to miss out on so many opportunities in life. You need to be willing to let go of those nagging thoughts in the back of your head that are constantly sprouting out possibilities of judgment towards you. When you think too hard, you tend to stick only with what you’re most comfortable and familiar with. This is okay to an extent. There’s always room for adventure in your life to see and learn more, but you need to try and open your mind.
2. You are sacrificing your own comfort for others
When you’re always overthinking, you end up putting someone else’s needs before your own. You may think that’s not true because you believe what your mind’s telling you is right, but your mind may be fogged by fear of possible judgment and rejection. You end up acting in a way that you believe will be acceptable to the person or thing you’re thinking too hard about, even if your heart’s not in it. Overthinking has been said to cause rumination, which causes one’s problem-solving skills to actually decrease. Put yourself first in your mind and just do what makes you happy, regardless of anything else. If you do this enough, that troublesome voice inside your head will slowly start to drift away.
3. It’s really not what you think
No, for real. It’s not what you think. Nine times out of 10, what you’re thinking too hard about in your head literally only exists in your head. You’re stressing and wasting your energy on nonexistent outcomes and you don’t deserve that. I’m probably going to get a bad grade on my essay because I didn’t use enough “big” words. I’ve heard this one before, because I thought this many times back in high school and my early college days. I took AP English courses, so I knew the expectations of my writing skills were high. This caused me to stress over even the simplest papers for hours on end with the negative mindset that I didn’t try hard enough. Then I’d get my paper back with a solid red A on the top (not every time, but most). Imagine all the time I could have saved had I just trusted my gut and believed in myself and my ability. Trust your gut more.
4. You deserve to be happy
Most – if not all – people who overthink are generally not happy. I don’t think I know anyone who’s overall happy with an overpowering thought process. You have the power to think freely and make your mind an open garden rather than a guarded prison. You need to try and step out of your comfort zone, even if it’s something small, and just be. I promise you will be surprised by how relieving it is when you start to feel that negative fog in your mind slowly start to fade away.
In the words of Elsa, let it go! Seriously, break those barriers down inside your mind and allow yourself to enjoy something new without thinking about what someone else is thinking. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill, and you don’t deserve that. I know finding the solution to this problem is tough – believe me, I’ve been there and I still find myself struggling a little – but if you take the time to read this and trust in it, it really will help take away that “over” in your thinking.