Love Would Have No Meaning Without Pain

Love Would Have No Meaning Without Pain
Ayo Ogunseinde

I had my eye on him, but I’d kept it quiet. My mind would often drift to him in the most unexpected moments. We saw each other almost every day in passing. We didn’t know each other at all. He caught my eye, which caught me by surprise. He seemed quiet and reserved, a huge contrast to my outgoing personality. His mystery intrigued me. I wanted to know more. My heart was in no shape to take another gamble at love. After my last heartbreak, I was uninterested in the game of love.

I should’ve known this is when the dance usually begins.

I finally made a move. We were at a party and people were noticing the sparks between us. I hadn’t been as coy as I had thought. My poker face was starting to reveal my true feelings. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I sent him a text and the dance began. On our first date we stayed up all night talking. I felt like a teenager again. Giddy. Happy. Excited. He felt like home.

I remained guarded until he gave me every reason to trust him. I opened up to him more than I had ever done with anyone in my life. I knew I was taking a risk by falling, but I felt like he was worth it.

We spent our next few dates talking about how much we had in common and how happy we both were to finally have found each other. This was the real deal. This was the type of connection that people look for their entire lives. Our meeting almost made me start to believe in fate and soulmates, a concept I had long denied. Here we were under the stars, wrapped up in each other’s arms. Our hearts felt safe again.

Life is never perfect, but we were perfect for each other. We couldn’t always fix each other’s problems, but we always tried. We faced our days together, ready to conquer whatever chaos swirled around us. As time moved on, we grew closer together. We each had a unique and sarcastic sense of humor that some would find off-putting. We found it hilarious and loved to build off of each other. Over time, our families and friends started integrating. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

When I look back, I can’t quite identify the moment it all changed. I wanted to fight for it to work, but I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to believe that love would conquer all, but would it?

I still don’t believe our ending was inevitable. Miscommunications led to heartache. Misunderstandings led to misery. I’ll never understand why it is so easy for people to walk away from others over minor disagreements. The cliché is so true: you have to take the good times with the bad. Nothing lasts forever.

The beauty is in the breakdown. There is light to be found in the dark moments. If everything was perfect, there would be no opportunity for growth. There would be no depth to our relationships without a bit of struggle. Love blooms in the cracks of our heart when we are hurt but we choose to forgive.

Pain can be made beautiful if two people are willing to commit themselves to always choosing each other.

Relationships come and go so quickly today. We hold people to standards of perfection that are hard to meet. We expect them to always do the right thing and to always contribute to our happiness. If we experience any amount of pain, we assume they are not right for us and move on. This is only true if you choose to believe it. Every relationship grows stronger as people work through differences over time.

I will never forget all of the beautiful times we had together. TC mark

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