The Bloody Chamber

Anybody can say they like a classic with a bit of a twist, but your twists can make the faint of heart a little sick. The person who can be with you without flinching is never bored and you prefer to keep things short and straight to the point so there is no chance of getting misunderstood either.

The Artist’s Way

You’re good at expressing yourself and being vulnerable, and you are adept at (eventually) figuring out why things go wrong. You don’t take blame where blame is due but you do accept responsibility where you are at fault. But your partner better not be the curious kind – reading your morning pages is like opening up Pandora’s Box.

Eat, Pray, Love or Wild

Different bottle, same wine. You want to go on the road to self-discovery, but you’re not ready to do so yet. Maybe you don’t really see how great you are, and maybe your partner is getting a little bit too tired of telling you this. (Word of advice that doesn’t work its way into those books: listen to what your partner is saying rather than escaping into affairs and travel. It saves you a lot of hassle.)

Shakespeare’s Sonnets

The sexiest thing for you is when someone makes an effort. You love beautiful language and you love taking the time to untangle it completely—to savor every bit of a well-crafted poem. The partner you stay with is someone who loves and appreciates that and is willing to reciprocate. Wishy-washy slackers don’t stand a chance.

Fahrenheit 451

Partners must share your values, always and completely. You cannot stand injustice (there is no doubt as to how you vote) and you cannot stand anybody trying to squash down someone weaker than them. You are a force to be reckoned with. Your beloved, when they come into your life, will hopefully be a steadying influence, but they must also have the same core beliefs as you. Nothing less will satisfy you.

He’s Just Not That Into You or The Rules

Uncertainty scares the shit out of you and you hate going into situations without being able to control the outcome to the maximum extent possible. The problems start when your partner isn’t completely aware of what the rules of the game are, and end when they fail to read your mind or understand your frustration.

Ariel

Everything would be just fine and dandy if your partner would bloody stop cheating on you.

Artist Biographies

You prefer nonfiction to fantasy and that goes for life as well as for your taste in books. Still, you are prone a little bit to hero-worship, something which your partner may or may not be entirely comfortable with. There’s a chance that they’re perfectly okay with being the center of your world but there’s a bigger chance they just want to be human too.

Twilight

You prefer fantasy to reality and that’s not a fancy way of saying you’re also a fan of R.A. Salvatore. You want your life to resemble a fairy tale as much as possible and you have very little tolerance for any evidence of the contrary.

Anything by James Patterson

You like variation in every aspect of life, and you don’t tolerate stagnation. New things drive you and your relationship forward, and your lover better be able to keep up.

whiskey, words, and a shovel

You spend an awful lot of Instagram, and you’re not sure whether you want your partner to match your engagement or not. On the one hand, he is not nagging at you for having a large following. On the other, why does he keep liking those thirst traps other girls post?

You don’t read

You spend more time Instagramming your food on dates than in intelligent conversation with the other person.

You have too many favorite books to choose from

You never run out of conversation topics, but at the same time, you find it very difficult to be chill.

Any religious text

You’re closer to the clouds than you are to the ground.

Men Explain Things To Me

Casual dates tend to accuse you of being stuck up. Anybody who makes you their girlfriend, however, shares your opinion that humor is a lot better when it’s not built around sexism.

Fool’s Quest

You have infinite patience and tolerance for nonsense. You also have the ability to keep yourself amused, which is greatly appreciated by any partner who thought dating was a 24/7 “Amuse Me” contest.

Art And Lies

The sex is great. That is all.