Okay, I’ve Dated All The Zodiac Signs, Now What?

I’ve seen so many articles talking about the pros and cons of dating each zodiac sign — to the point where I was like, maybe I just should date them all!? They all sound equally great and awful, what could possibly go wrong?

Well, I did it. I think my main conclusion is: All People Are Bad and Dating Is Canceled, but now what? Who else is left to love? What other boxes can I put love interests into?

No, really, I dated all of them. I found a Sagittarius on a plane and dried a Cancer’s tears and dragged a Gemini up from the depths of hell. I penciled myself into a Virgo’s schedule and made all the decisions for a Libra and also grabbed a Scorpio while I was in hell getting a Gemini. I think there are other zodiac signs too, I just can’t think of where I found them because it’s been a really exhausting last couple of weeks.

My opening line was always: “what time were you born?” It worked like a charm. If they didn’t know their star charts, I’d just look them up myself after our dates. I’d study where Pluto was on their birthday, if they were a Leo rising, what stage the moon was in when they hit puberty, memorize all the constellations, what house Venus was in when they got their first kiss — extensive background research to see if we were genuinely compatible as a couple.

I spent more time investing in this than actually getting to know them through regular human conversation — but I think I now know them better than they know themselves. Like, Matt, the Pisces I dated throughout the end of August, is going to die on February 4th. Not sure which year, the star chart didn’t say.

So now what? Should I start focusing on Myers-Briggs? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author


Follow Katie on Instagram or read more articles from Katie on Thought Catalog. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.