1. You’re so whaaaaaaatever and laid-back about everything, it’s so cool. You just have one, tiny little extravagant dating standard, and it’s that you only want to date that guy who literally has no interest in you. And who also already has a girlfriend. But you look hot in sweatpants! Has he seen you in sweatpants?
2. You can get ready for any event in under five minutes. You are so easy-going about life, just very go with the flow. And is it really too much to expect this guy to leave his girlfriend for you instead?
3. You enjoy living in the moment and don’t give a fuck about what you look like — because who cares about little things like looks? Why won’t this guy just fall in love with you already? Does he know the “getting ready for any event in under five minutes” thing? Doesn’t he think it’s hot? It’s hot, right?
4. You don’t need plans, you’re spontaneous! So why won’t this guy, like, spontaneously change everything about his life to cater to exactly what you want right this very second? It doesn’t make sense? It’s not that hard?
5. Your hair just has this naturally stunning look to it when it’s messy and you don’t even do anything to it — who has the time!? Who cares about hair when there’s traveling to do! HOW is it unreasonable to ask him to abandon his current life for you?
6. You’re so chill and low-maintenance, most days you just wear your glasses instead of contact lenses. Ugh, who has the time to put something on their eyes every morning — you could be traveling or doing something adventurous instead! Seriously, he hasn’t left his girlfriend yet? He knows you’re chill, right? YOU’RE CHILL.
7. You don’t need to go on fancy dates to expensive restaurants — you’re happy just eating a burger. This fact alone makes you better than his girlfriend, who you’re sure is not a fun and quirky low-maintenance girl. You’re the only authentic low-maintenance girl. Like, how long does it take her to get ready?
8. You’re so low-maintenance, you’ve never even looked in a mirror before. You have no idea what you look like, who cares! You only have one thing you’re particularly picky about and it’s trying to get this guy to leave his girlfriend for you.
9. You don’t really have unreasonable standards about anything, which is why you get along with pretty much everyone. You’re just one of the guys and also every girl’s best friend. You’re so unbelievably cool you could just burst into flames and honestly you might because it’s stupid that he won’t uproot his current relationship to start one with you. You’re low-maintenance!