Northeast

You’re an asshole. But you are adored for it.

You’re rather quiet at first, but once you get close to your significant other, sarcasm starts becoming your first language. It takes a lot for you to open up, so when you actually start dating someone, you’re serious about it.

You’re really not easily impressed, you live for “turtleneck weather,” and you’re all about those dates where you just sit on the floor eating takeout and watching a crime show on Netflix. You’re not necessarily a Cool Girl, but you’re very low-key. You rarely compliment your partner, but when you do, it means a lot.

You’re opinionated and most likely the boss in the relationship. You may not scream your happiness or love from any rooftops (yuck, could you imagine?), but everything you feel and express is incredibly genuine.

You’ll reluctantly wear white on your wedding day, but you really wish it were socially acceptable to be in a slimming, black dress instead.

West

You’re a Cool Girl. You’ve never triple texted. You always show up late to dates. You can—and will—outdrink anyone when it comes to white wine.

It takes a while of dating before you feel comfortable enough around your significant other to start having deeper conversations with them. You appreciate very simple things in life and dating, but you also like to kick off relationships with very inventive activities. You just like a challenge and a chance to show off your adventurous side—because most people assume you’re just laid back.

For someone as chill as you are, you actually come off a lot more accepting and warm than most people would expect. You prefer to be in a balanced partnership with your significant other, rather than bossing or being bossed around.

You’ll prioritize the honeymoon excursion over wedding plans. And this honeymoon won’t involve any lounging around on some beach—you can get that whenever you want where you live—but will be probably involves something like jumping out of a plane or walking around the edge of volcano.

Pacific Northwest

You’re very picky about who you date, so when you get it together and finally meet someone worthy, everything just falls into place. Especially if they share your love for the outdoors, appreciation for that post-rainfall smell, and can tolerate multiple cups of the best coffee in the country.

You love intimate gatherings, so you’ll introduce your significant other to your closest friends pretty early on in the relationship. You’re down-to-earth and would never get wrapped up in petty disagreements with your partner. You like to savor those little things in life.

You have a mix of interests, which makes dating you more spontaneous and exciting. You’re as easygoing as the other West Coast girlfriends, but you’re a lot more low-key about it. You’re down to do whatever it takes to you happy. Usually this involves drinking craft beer.

You won’t wear shoes at your wedding. You’ll need convincing to have your hair professionally done. You will somehow coordinate birds to chirp throughout the ceremony, which will obviously take place outside in a forest next to, like, a babbling brook.

South

Wife material. You’re incredibly secure and confident—therefore you address any dating uncertainties or anxieties head-on. “Passive aggressive” is not in your vocabulary.

You will monogram the shit out of every milestone of your relationship and you really don’t care what anyone else thinks about it. You will only show interest and even consider dating people as charming as you are, so you both usually end up being an incredibly intimidating power couple. You’re more vocal than your partner,

You’re all about flaunting what you’ve got—and this includes whoever you’re dating—because you make the time and effort to make sure anything and anyone associated with you only helps you be your best. You don’t waste time with anyone you wouldn’t be over-the-top proud of in every way.

You’ll get married first out of all of your friends. The wedding invitations will probably be delivered by doves.

Midwest

You get along with everyone and are the friendliest, most outgoing person in your circle of friends. It’s intimidating.

Small talk doesn’t cause you any anxiety, so first date etiquette comes naturally to you. You can smell a fuckboy from miles away and have absolutely zero tolerance for them. Everyone’s nice in the Midwest, sure, but what others have to be careful about is if they fuck with you, oh boy, do you fuck with them back.

You’re a loyal girlfriend, you mesh really well with your partner’s friends and family, and you look forward to finding ways to do a little something extra for your significant other everyday.

You’re excited to get married. You truly do feel like it might make you feel that much more fulfilled, and you’ve been looking forward to starting that chapter of your life for as long as you can remember.

Instead of a champagne fountain at your wedding, it will be La Croix.