20 Reasons Why Being Short Is The WORST

1. Most likely people will always default to calling you “cute” or “adorable” when describing your physicality rather than “sexy” or “distinguished”. Plus my short cousin once told me “cute” was just a tall person’s euphemism for “ugly”.

2. You will have to take at least 7 inches off the hem/legs of every dress, skirt and pair of pants you buy.

3. Basically no one will ever notice you in their path, and everyone whose eye-line is higher than the top of your head (read: everyone) will bulldoze you where you stand.

4. Your face is the same height as everyone else’s elbow, which isn’t fun in crowds.

5. Everyone will think you’re 17 even when you’re 35. Shortness = perpetual condescension.

6. If you don’t know any tall people or own a ladder, you’re fucked if you have to reach something up high.

7. If you’re a girl, you will never be part of one of those statuesque tall couples you see shopping in trendy bookstores and going for runs in Manhattan and secretly covet.

8. If you’re a dude, everyone is going to automatically assume you have a tiny dick.

9. People will always make you take up the smallest space, like the middle seat in the back of the car, rationalizing that it will be more comfortable for you because you are short. It won’t be.

10. Your legs are stumpy.

11. There may be, at some point in your life, a ride that even as a full grown adult, you are too short to go on.

12. At standing room only event, lots of tall people are jerks, and chances are you’ll end up staring at someone’s sweaty lower back for 2 hours rather than the thing you came to see.

13. No piece of clothing that is designed with a feature that is meant to sit on a specific part of your body will sit at the right part of your body. For instance, jeans with motorcycle knees will sit mid calf. Forget peplum tops and babydoll dresses entirely.

14. Looking up at people hurts your neck.

15. Sometimes tall people probably feel like you are very, very far away.

16. You literally need to run to keep up with the strolling pace of your friends and it makes you look like a fucking panting moron.

17. Sometimes there will be stairs that are sort of big, and come up to your knees, so you’ll have to work harder to get up them than the normal sized people, but no one will sympathize.

18. Children will think you’re one of them and they will never, ever respect you.

19. You were probably in the front row of your class photo at school and then got bullied for being short, and also for being the only white person in a row full of Asians.

20. People will say things like “Snooki is 4”8 too!”