1. Focus too much on romantic love.
I know it’s inevitable for you to be mindful of your relationship status because you’re at that age where the society expects you to settle or at least be in preparation for it. However, focusing too much on finding love or on working your relationship out will just let you miss out more worthwhile things such as further educating yourself, spending time with your family, saving money, building up the career you love, or even merely mastering the art of self-love. Remember, your self is the best and strongest foundation of the great things that happen in your life. So put yourself first.
2. Pleasing your parents or relatives.
If what they want for you aligns with your own dreams and endeavors then that’s cool. But if you just want to be obedient to honor the elders in your family make sure you don’t compromise your own dreams. We all know they want the best for us, but it’s only us who can define our own happiness. Don’t choose the career they insist on you which will just drag you every morning. Don’t stop spending time on your passion just because they see it as waste. Don’t marry a man or a woman merely for betrothal. You see, you can’t blame them once you realize you’re not happy with your life because, in the first place, you had the freedom to decide not to be servile.
3. Spending the majority of your hours online.
Perhaps it’s your easiest way to relieve stress. To escape from preoccupation over your paper works or projects. Perhaps it’s simply your office. Undoubtedly, the Internet offers engrossing stuff from which we can’t avert our eyes. But don’t let the hours of your day be poured out only on scrolling down the dashboard or newsfeed. If you already find it hard to pause even for an hour, that’s unhealthy. Social media has so much to show yet not all the time you’re always mindful of what and how it feeds your mind. What’s worse is that it bogs down or even stops your productivity.
4. Compare your life with others’.
Well if you have an issue with number 3 then certainly this entails. You see your friends building their own houses and families. You witness them travel the world. You gape at how they get promoted. You wonder how they achieve these goals you too have and can’t help but look down on yourself and despise your life. Let me just remind you that life is not a race. Just because they achieved something you haven’t, doesn’t mean you can’t achieve them yourself. It’s a matter of doing your part, not of how quickly you succeed.
5. Avoid tough self-love.
At the same time, you can’t always wallow in indulgence. You can’t always be in your comfort zone and just seek pleasure. Self-love should somehow be tough because the self-love that’s tough is something that can make you more mature and stronger. You can’t always say yes to everything you want or make a lot of excuses not to grow. Change your inefficient habits. Take risks. Welcome in new adventures. Spend your finances more wisely. Avoid life toxins including people you cherish too much.
6. Spend excess time at work.
Hey, there’s nothing wrong with doing an overtime. If you don’t have a family waiting for you at home, then we’re cool with that. But wait, what’s that for? You should consider those 8 hours of task enough. Dedication? Commitment? Passion? OK, but… Take care of your mental health as well. It could be stress in disguise.
7. Stick in a job that doesn’t make you happy.
For those in the early 20’s, this is fine; they still have a lot of time to reconsider their career. But if you’re 26 and above, this gets a little more serious. No, I’m not telling you should have it all figured out already. But please don’t settle on something you might eventually find hard to break free from. Quit that 9-5 job and pursue what really makes you happy. Odds may be against you, but what’s important is you’ve realized your dreams and lived out your real purpose.
8. Lock the door to your heart.
Guard it, but don’t lock it. Contrary to number 1, you might be depriving yourself of romance. You can live without it, but allow yourself to experience such joy. Allow yourself to be loved by the person who can give what you deserve. To be inspired with butterflies in your stomach. To be like a child again who smiles every time she sees her crush. Allow yourself to feel pain and pleasure alike in loving.
9. Let friends pressure you or vice versa.
Same with your family, you don’t always have to say yes to them. If you don’t feel like going out with them during the weekends then be honest. If you don’t want to join that video conference, then don’t answer. If you want to go solo on a trip, you don’t have to explain and feel sorry. On the other hand, you have to understand if your friends can’t always be there for you. Don’t feel bad if they reject your invitation to dine out. Don’t be surprised if they change. You have to consider one another’s personal time and space, and how you grow apart. Anyway, it will teach you independence.
10. Feel too old for anything.
Just so you know, the more you deny enjoyment, the older you get. You can still party hard. Meet and mingle with different people. Dress like a teenager. Watch Pixar movies. Binge-eat desserts. Play sports. Learn how to dance. How to play an instrument. Belt out trending songs. Take artsy photos. Download those games. Whatever you still find enjoyable, do it. Reward yourself with fun. Unwind through recreation. Don’t squander your energy. Don’t rush yourself to senescence.