You’ll Always Feel Like Home, But It’s Time For Me To Leave

You might always feel like home, but it is time for me to leave. As badly as I wanted you to be mine, you were never mine to keep for the long run. My heart has overextended its time with you, the lease is up, and it is time to open myself up to better things.

As much as I wanted to be a home for you, you only saw me as a shelter. For you, I was like a motel on the side of a highway, a mere pit stop for warmth and convenience, a place for you to rest your head temporarily when you lacked affection. I tended and cared for you until I no longer recognized my reflection in the mirror. Without realizing it, I was slowly losing myself by pouring every ounce of myself into you when you were only a guest and ready to leave at any given moment.

I fell in love with the beauty of your rough tides, but as time went on, I was slowly drowning. I had to let you go, because if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t have left me freezing within your arctic waves. You would’ve never let go of my hand when I was drowning in the currents of you. If only you cared enough to look back at the wreckage you created. You left me gasping for the love I always thought I wanted.

I’m gradually learning to love myself more deeply from the scarcity of love you gave me. Reality is settling in, and it is time for me to stop wishing and praying for you to give me the world when you’ve always given me nothing. It’s time for me to stop begging for you to come back, because if you loved me, you wouldn’t have left me in the first place. As desperately I wanted to hold onto you, your love was never mine to keep. Love is not complex or something that needs to be solved; it flows or it doesn’t.

About the author
Writer about all things from love and heartbreak from Vancouver, B.C. Follow Karen on Instagram or read more articles from Karen on Thought Catalog.

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