Thought Catalog

21 Questions I Have For People In Long-Term Relationships

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Sometimes when I get drunk, I like to corner friends of mine who are in long-term relationships and pepper them with questions about how they make it work. I find long-term couples fascinating like a science experiment where two heads have been fused onto one body or rubber-necking a car accident. I want so badly to have what they have and to understand how they do it but it just seems so foreign. I’m even more perplexed by this dedicated love because I’m on the cusp of becoming one of those people. I have a special someone I really, really love. I can already hear the chants of “one of us! one of us!” while we all…I don’t know, go get couples brunch or grocery shop or go home at 8 p.m. on a Saturday night.

Here are some of the questions I will ask, when inebriated, of my paired up friends. If you’re boo-ed up and have any insightful answers, I’d love to hear them.

21. What makes this person different (better?) than the other short-term people you’ve dated?

20. Do you ever have doubts about being with one person for so long?

19. What do you do to push those doubts away?

18. How important is communication? Do you talk out every little thing?

17. How can you tell the difference between a dealbreaker and a small compromise to save the relationship?

16. Did you always believe in being with one person forever?

15. Do you ever accidentally dress alike? Who has to change clothes then?

14. What do you do if you really, really want to bone someone else?

13. But for real, what if they’re super hot and basically grabbing your genitals?

12. Is it possible to be 100 percent honest all the time and not hurt the other person’s feelings?

11. Do you have to spend ALL your time together?

10. How long can you keep avoiding the tough conversations and just stay in the honeymoon phase?

9. Does the sex ever get boring? Even if it’s like, super great right now, it has to get boring at some point. What do you do?

8. Do you know you wanted to date them right away? Or was it a slow burn of falling in love?

7. Does that love ebb and flow where you love them a lot one day and maybe less the next? Is that okay?

6. What do you do if you want to be alone for a while?

5. Is this better than being single?

4. Do you ever get tired of each other? What do you do?

3. Do you ever absolutely hate them during an argument?

2. How can you be sure your love for them will last forever?

1. How do you know this person is absolutely worth the work? HOW DO YOU KNOW? TC Mark

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