The Paradox Of Modern Dating: What We All Aren’t Getting Right

“I have recently gotten out of a seven-month relationship with a man who cheated on me but is adamantly claiming that he did not. According to him we were really only ‘seeing each other’ the entire time. Turns out that seeing each other means having sex regularly, going on vacation together, meeting the family, acting as his plus one at events and taking care of him when he is sick. A classic case of a miscommunication.”- from, Whatever Happened To Romance?
Flickr / Michael Patterson
Flickr / Michael Patterson

When it comes to relationships, why do we place so much value on titles and so little value on feelings and actions? Why is it acceptable to act like someone is your partner, and then escape any responsibility or commitment towards that person when it is convenient because of a label?

The power that a title holds in a relationship above all else has led to many miscommunications and broken hearts all over the modern dating world. At the end of the day, no matter how much time you’ve spent together and no matter how you feel, it all doesn’t matter if you were just “seeing each other.”

At least, this is the card that individual’s suffering from the ultimate dating paradox are playing, The one’s who have an inherent fear of commitment and an even greater fear of loneliness. The one’s who reel someone in and treat them like they’re exclusive, only to hop away to the next best thing when they get the chance. Terrified of being alone but equally afraid to miss out on something better if they commit, they negate the value of their current relationships with a menial title. “Seeing each other,” “casually dating,” “just friends,” are all terms commonly used to describe the non-relationship, relationship these types of people frequently find themselves in.

We’re living in a time where too many people are afraid to take an honest chance on love and commit to someone they could actually have a bright future with. One of the problems is that we have access to so many different options now that it’s creating a barrier to finding real love due to a fear of missing out.

Options make you doubt what you already have, and this particular type of person continues to browse the dating catalogue without comprehending the hurt they may be causing in other peoples lives. Naturally, this is also the type of person that relishes in double standards. They can still play the field but they want you to commit to them only. If you don’t, jealousy, arguments and accusations almost always ensue.

Ultimately, a person who deems a title more binding than anything else will never be able to provide you with the security you desire. Sure, titles are an important identifying feature but what if we cared just a little bit more about each other.

Dating is not a game. It’s real life- real people and real feelings. The day we understand the importance of showing respect for one another and realize that people aren’t inanimate, disposal objects, will be the day that modern dating becomes just a little bit kinder and easier for everyone. And that’s something we would all benefit from. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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