What To Do (And What NOT To Do) If You Want To Get Your Ex Back

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CreateHER Stock

The best way to win someone back is to make them fall in love with you again. This is the only way to ensure they won’t leave you again. Now you might be saying:

“Yes I know that, but how can I control an uncontrollable random process like love?”

But what you should have asked was:

“Is love a random process? or can be controlled like other emotions such as stress, anxiety, fear etc?”

The answer to the latter is YES. The problem with love is how people have been conditioned through TV and the media into thinking that love is a predetermined thing controlled by fate or destiny. But this is not the case.

Love just like any other emotion can be controlled when the correct methods are applied to it. This I show how to do in my book “The Lovemap Code.

Ok, so how can I win back my ex?

After a break up, people usually have no idea whether or not there is any chance for reconciliation. And since you’re still hoping that you could still get back together, I’m sure that you will do everything that you can in order to rekindle the romance that was once there.

The problem here is that the tendency can be for the rejected party to keep calling and bugging their ex in the hope of changing their mind. This needs to be avoided at all costs as you need to give your ex space so they can start to miss you from their life. So:

  • Do NOT go after him or her: Chasing after the person will only make him or her go farther away from you. Give your ex some space and the time he or she needs to miss you.
  • Do NOT contact your ex: Avoid calling, texting or sending IMs. Do not go to places where he or she usually hangs out and “accidentally” bump into him or her. Instead make your ex wonder how you’ve been doing after the break up and why he or she hasn’t heard from you yet.
  • Do NOT beg him or her to come back: This is a very pathetic and desperate move. Who would want to get back with someone out of pity? It’s definitely not your ex.
  • Do NOT blackmail them: Attempts to emotional blackmail or threaten your ex that you are going to commit suicide if he or she doesn’t take you back obviously should be avoided. You might be able to get him or her back, but the relationship would never work out. More so, do not try to make your ex jealous by showing up with someone new. He or she might think that you have already moved on, or more likely that you are trying to manipulate them.

To Win Someone Back, You Should:

  • Understand why you broke up in the first place: There probably were problems during the relationship. Was your attitude a problem? Did you involve him in your decisions? You’re your ex feel taken for granted? Take some time off to rationalize things. If you were the reason why things went wrong, be ready to admit your mistakes and learn from them.
  • Take action: Do your best to change whatever negative attitudes you have, or bring back that part of you which made your ex fall in love with you in the first place.
  • Improve yourself: Think of this as an opportunity for you to try new things and to get to know yourself more. Take care of your body and your appearance. Work on ways to improve your self worth.

Final Thought On Winning Someone Back

Remember to apologize to him or her if you have to, but never argue or try to reason. Stay calm and always think before you speak. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

John Alex Clark is a Relationship & Life Coach. He is the founder of the website Relationship Psychology.

Keep up with John Alex on Twitter and Website

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