It can take only a few seconds for someone to form their first impression of you. And one of the key areas they will base this impression of you …is on how you carry the conversation with them.
Many people get off on the wrong foot when they meet someone new because they don’t know how to take advantage of those first few minutes of conversation to make a good impression. They wing it basically. And “hope” for the best. As a result, they are often unsure where to begin and then from there, which direction to go in.
In this article we will take a look at some conversation tips that will go a long way to making a good first impression on a first date.
6 Conversation Tricks For Making A Good First Impression
Below are five effective ways to improve your first date conversation:
- Finding somewhere to begin: For a lot of people there is nothing more difficult than getting over that awkward first moment of silence. So how do you pick a topic that will engage someone you just sat down with for the first time? One safe option is always to begin with your current environment. If you are sitting in a restaurant then begin by talking about the restaurant. If you’re in a movie theatre then start from there. This is a simple but surefire way to engage your partner in the conversation and find common ground.
- Have them share their opinion: After using something concrete to open the conversation the next step is to move into the abstract. Rather than ask questions with objective facts and answers, which risks “Yes”, “No” or “I don’t know” as answers …ask about your date’s opinions. If you are in a movie theatre then a natural progression is to begin asking about their favourite films or what they think of one of the actor’s you are going to see.
- Project warmth and acceptance: People sometimes avoid being friendly when they themselves feel insecure. They do this because they worry about coming across as needy and desperate. Those who possess real self-confidence however are unafraid to project warmth and acceptance of others. The result is that people around them feel comfortable and judge them positively. Confidence without this sense of ease just comes across as arrogance. To express confidence remember to express warmth and openness.
- Relax and play it cool: People feel best when they are around people who feel good about themselves. When you feel anxious or worried this feeling is communicated to the person you are with and as a result they don’ feel comfortable. This discomfort affects their impression of you.
- Avoid talking about yourself directly: While most people admire someone successful, they do not want to hear that person talk about themself directly. Regardless of how many good things you can say about yourself and how successful you are it is not a good idea to bring them up yourself if you want to make someone like you. Let the conversation go where it will. Over time your best qualities and success will shine through much brighter than if you had brought it up yourself.
- Take advantage of body language science: As mentioned before, expressing your status and success by talking directly about it will not come across well. You can however, use body language to convey these things. Use your body to project openness, warmth, and comfort in actions as simple as opening doors or taking off a jacket. Your date will pick up on these actions unconsciously and feel a sense of comfort and ease.
Its All About How You Make Them Feel
There’s an old saying:
“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”
People form judgements about others based on the feelings they experienced when they were together. If during the course of your date you make someone feel inadequate or insecure …it will negatively affect their first impression of you.
On the other hand if you make someone feel better about themself then it will reflect positively on you. So don’t make the mistake of focusing on yourself and your own feelings during a date, but instead focus on the person you are with and on how to bring out positive feelings in them.
The sign of a good date conversation is not how you feel at the end, but how you made your partner feel. Once you are able to influence and guide your partner’s emotional state you can be confident that you will have a great first date with anyone.