Brett’s friend started laughing. “Damn! You don’t know how to lock a door, dude?”
“I thought I HAD. Anyway, now my mom’s so freaked out, she made my dad block internet access to my room. She thinks I’m gonna become a sexual deviant just because I like a little girl-on-girl action.”
“No internet? That’s like, what do they call it? Crueler than usual punishment.”
“Tell me about it. So I went digging through all this stuff from my dad’s bachelor years that he’s got stashed in the shed out back and guess what? I found a whole box full of porn.”
“Nice!”
“Yeah, the only problem is it’s all VHS tapes…”
“So? You don’t have an old VCR lying around?”
“Of course not. Do you?”
“…No.”
“Exactly. Nobody does.” Brett grew quiet for a moment and then suddenly he shouted in my direction, “Hey!”
Something small ricocheted off the side of my head and I looked down to see a single tater-tot roll beneath my chair. “Hey, bitch.”
When I didn’t respond, Brett tossed another tater-tot at my head. “Hey…”
I let out a long sigh as a third tater-tot bounced off of my shoulder and landed in my Jell-O. “…bitch.”