You love blaming other people for your state of being. Your parents, your boss, the world, me. We are all responsible for the let downs in your life. If we were better, then you would be better; only none of that is true.
You decide who you are and who you become.
You choose to see the world for its grievances and disappointments instead of for its opportunities. You say you’re unhappy. You say you wish things were different. I wonder why you don’t make your life into what you want it to be.
Why you say you long to be loved yet keep me at arm’s length? Why you wish to be great, but limit yourself to the mundane? You have stopped noticing beauty. You have stopped noticing potential. You are not the person I once knew and I’m afraid you never will be again.
Love. You will never have this. It comes only out of mutual desire and respect for the people who support you. You don’t trust people enough to let them that close. And people don’t want to be connected with someone so emotionally damning.
I wish I could inspire you to love and to feel and to hope. I want so badly for you to realize you are standing in your own way. I think you already know though. The world will never matter or be enough for you until you accept that we don’t get to decide the challenges of life, only how we react to the challenges given to us.
Maybe you will never be satisfied with what you have and life will always disappoint you. Maybe you will always waste your goodness and choose to brood in the misfortunes of your life.
One would think you have suffered a great loss or tragedy looking at the bitterness in your heart, but it is just your nature. I wonder if you’ll ever change. You deliberately point out flaws with a smile and a curse. I hate to say it, but I’ve started to give up on you. You choose the darkness too often for me to keep trying to be your light.
At the end of it all, you are the architect of your own unhappiness. Someday I hope you realize you can also be the architect of your own beautiful, imperfect life if only you give yourself the chance you deserve.