So many people spend their lives revolving around the idea and desire of love. But love is not the only thing that matters and it certainly isn’t the only thing we should be searching for.

As humans, and especially millennials, living in what is arguably the fakest time in history our goals in life should be to find something more than someone to spend our lives with. Love shouldn’t complete you and neither should the following but there should be an equal appreciation and desire for these things as there is for love.

1. Search for loyalty, in friends and lovers.

Unconditional acceptance isn’t something that comes along often. Finding someone who decides you are enough not only at your best but at your worst is one of the most satisfying moments you can have. When you can break down in confidence knowing that that person will still stand beside you at the end of the day, that is when you have found true loyalty.

2. Search for tolerance.

We don’t even try to understand what another person could be going through anymore. Finding tolerance of other people and their decisions, even though you might not agree with them, will make you a better person. Realizing your way is not the only way and that other people, all people actually, are significant will keep you from being a judgey jerk.

3. Search for patience.

We live in a self-centered world. A world where our personal needs are always more important than others. We have this expectation for immediate service, emotions, and accomplishments and when we aren’t immediately satisfied we become enraged at the injustice. Delayed gratification can be more satisfying than getting what you want right away.

4. Search for intelligence.

We have developed this nasty habit of giving up when it comes to learning. Your education should not be complete just because you are no longer a student in high school or college. Being smart is not the same thing as being knowledgeable and you will never regret possessing a lot of information. Having a desire to constantly learn is always going to be in your favor.

5. Search for confidence in yourself, your abilities, and your decisions.

One of the most difficult things we can accomplish as human beings is having self-confidence. We start doubting our greatness as young children and that doubt follows us through our teenage years and all the way into adulthood. Questioning your beauty, inner and outer, is a reflex that we need to take control of as a society. None of us are perfect, not a single one of us, and once you realize you don’t have a standard to live by you can confidently be yourself.

6. Search for perspective.

In the beginning we all start out as the same. We are born without judgement, without opinion, without fear. The way that we grow up, the places and the people who surround us define who we become as adults. It is easy to see the world from only from your point of view and to live closed off from the way others might see things. Constantly giving yourself new perspectives to examine other people and society will help you appreciate the differences we all develop and will help us connect the way we used to be connected in the beginning of it all.

7. Search for joy.

The easiest thing you can do is to fall into a dark place and feel sorry for yourself and your failures. It’s difficult to pick yourself back up and decide to find joy in the mundane. You may not be on the adventure you planned your life to be but you are living and that is enough. You can be happy every day if you make it your goal to always see the best in the worst.

8. Search for freedom.

We think that we are limited by others, but the truth is we limit ourselves more than anyone else ever will. We are the ones who tell ourselves we can’t do something and when we listen to the voice in the back of our heads we miss out on the opportunity to free ourselves from expectation. Freedom is doing what you want without a worry. Travel when and where you want, live with who whoever you want, be whoever you want to be. Finding freedom to pursue oneself is one of the bravest things you can learn to do.