Real-Life Barbie Doll Claims To Eat No Food At All, Only ‘Light And Air’

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoKwbbnlxi0&w=560&h=315%5D

Valeria Lukyanova, the Ukrainian model who I guess is kinda somebody because she looks vaguely Barbie-ish, was apparently tired of being only the second most fucked up situation in Ukraine lately. She’s talking about her new “diet” of “light and air”, and no, she’s not talking about mousse or cheesecake or any other holy confection that could be thusly described.

I feel weird even validating “Breatharianism” by calling it a diet; although most diets are deliciousness-shaming atrocities (don’t even point out a carb to me. It’s not a carb. It’s a snack, and I love it, and I hate you, and I’m eating two of them), they do at least generally involve actual food. Breatharians absorb light and air, which is evidently chock full of “cosmic micro-food”. So, they sit in fields and photosynthesize or something.

Anyway, this person (don’t ever say I’m not generous) claims she has already been fasting for a while: “In recent weeks I have not been hungry at all; I’m hoping it’s the final stage before I can subsist on air and light alone,” Valeria said. She has a point; anyone who has battled anorexia knows that “sweet spot” when you just stop being hungry at all. It usually happens shortly before you being being alive at all.

To be clear, I’m not mocking Valeria for what has every sign of being a legit eating disorder. I will save that for her claims of not having had plastic surgery. I hope someone loads up a soda can full of wine and runs an intervention on her hungry ass so she can be healthy.

Note for all the Overreactarians on my Facebook news feed: It’s almost as insane as quitting food to claim that sharing this plastic ladybot’s story is tantamount to endorsing anorexia. This isn’t “giving impressionable young girls new ‘options’ when it comes to extreme and damaging weight loss attempts” (no, really, people are saying this.) It’s like, if this is the kind of person (or worse, if you believe anything you read on a website that looks like this) you are electing to use as a guiding light for making life choices, you kinda deserve whatever you get. I stand by that.

I think I speak for Foodarians when I say: More ice cream for us, quitters.