“This won’t last forever,” you lie to yourself. “I’ll leave them soon,” you promise.
But you won’t. And you don’t want to. Because you like how it feels to be wanted. Even if it’s wrong and even if it‘s breaking you down slowly.
Let’s face it, there is this messed up part of all of us that want to be loved in a not so perfect way. That for some reason, even if our minds are yelling that it’s wrong, we try to turn a blind eye.
Maybe it’s because we are drawn towards fixing what is broken. Maybe it is because we do not believe we are worth having something that doesn’t involve toxicity. But it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve something beautiful.
Like most things in life, you are given a choice, and you are choosing to stay with someone who’s no good for you. And the longer you stay, the longer they win.
It may be one of the tougher choices you have to overcome, but you must choose to love yourself over those feelings of temporary pleasure. Because that’s all it will ever be — temporary.
The thing with these kinds of toxic loves is that you are only going to get small glimpses of what a relationship should be like. You are only going to feel the ups followed by a wave of consistent downs. As much as you wish it would just pass, it never does. Because you know deep down, it shouldn’t be like this.
I ask you to choose to love yourself today — your future self will thank you. That means cutting ties with something that is corroding you. Like termites you cannot see, that’s how they will destroy you.
Relationships do not have to be 100% chaos. In fact, the good ones are far from it. They good ones use communication, love, and understanding to stay afloat. There are so many individuals out there who are ready for love and are willing to start a deep and healthy connection.
Believe it or not, some people are fed up with the games and the inconsistencies that lie with toxic bonds. Just like you. I know you are searching and aching to have something that feels healthy.
But the first step is to let go. Let go like petals in a meadow. Let go like a pebble tossed in a pond. But please, let go.