50 Ways To Make People Hate You

1. Say that you love Holden Caulfield, and that The Catcher in the Rye is your favorite book.

2. Reveal Game of Thrones spoilers.

3. Take the last piece of pizza.

4. Play Devil’s Advocate all the time.

5. Chew loudly and/or with your mouth open.

6. Humble brag.

7. Tell insider jokes in front of people that are outside of the group. Be sure to coyly say “INSIDER” when they look at you funny.

8. Call other people’s best friend your best friend.

9. Talk about your kids. Sneak stories about them into the conversation whenever possible.

10. Say that you don’t like Breaking Bad or The Wire.

11. Flake out on your plans at the last minute. Sending a casual text is the best way to go about doing this.

12. Never be on-time for anything.

13. Tell stories about yourself that aren’t true.

14. Talk throughout a TV show or movie. Talk about what’s going on, ask questions when you’re confused, or discuss other current topics.

15. Leave a passive-aggressive comment on someone’s Facebook status.

16. Make an obvious sub-tweet about someone.

17. Don’t bring money when you’re out with friends, and reveal this fact when you’re being charged for something.

18. Say that you hate something that someone else just said that they love.

19. Add people to really big Facebook message threads.

20. Borrow things and don’t return them.

21. Post pictures where you look great, but everyone else looks like crap.

22. Cough dramatically when you think someone’s perfume/cologne is too strong.

23. Wait until someone is in the shower to use the bathroom.

24. Steal the bathroom right before someone needs it.

25. Keep talking to someone when they’re really sleepy and just trying to go to bed.

26. Invite yourself into the plans of other people.

27. Go to a potluck and don’t bring anything.

28. Complain about everything.

29. Play the same song, or the same few songs, over and over again.

30. Laugh or make a joke during a sad part of a TV show or movie.

31. Trip over cords when you have already been warned to watch your step.

32. Spill/knock over someone else’s food or drink.

33. Fall asleep in someone else’s house without asking permission to stay.

34. Sing really good songs, terribly.

35. Invite your significant other to everything you do with your friends.

36. Offer advice to your single friends when you’re in a relationship.

37. Talk about how much you dislike cats and dogs.

38. Don’t pass the controller when you’re playing video games with a group of friends.

39. Be an extra braggy winner and a sore loser.

40. Continually try to start a conversation with someone who is reading a book.

41. Knock over the board when you’re losing a board game.

42. Text or use your phone when someone is talking to you.

43. Cut in line.

44. Take shotgun when someone else called it.

45. Change the radio station when someone is jamming to a song.

46. Ask if someone needs something from the store, and then forget to buy what they asked for.

47. Interrupt people when they’re talking.

48. Pull out someone’s earphones when they’re listening to music.

49. Wake people up on the weekend when they’re allowed to sleep in.

50. Leave the milk in the fridge when there is only a few drops left.