If You Hear These 30 Phrases, Take Them As Red Flags
"If they wronged you and say something like, 'I'm such a terrible person, you should leave me.' It's them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They're not going to change if you stay."
Here are some red flags from Ask Reddit you should pay close attention to.
1. Don’t be so sensitive (or something to that effect). Big warning sign that they don’t care about your feelings, and can’t take responsibility for their behavior.
2. Anyone who tries to convince you that you can trust them. “Come on man, you can trust me. I’d never do that to you.” People who are actually trustworthy don’t need to convince anyone of anything and they also know that real trust isn’t freely given to people you barely know and are not offended when they are not given it.
3. “Okay, fine. I’m sorry. Happy?” That’s not an apology.
4. If they wronged you and say something like, “I’m such a terrible person, you should leave me.” It’s them trying to force sympathy on them instead of genuinely apologizing to you. They’re not going to change if you stay.
5. Pretty much anytime somebody says something about themself when it’s not prompted or necessary. Like: “I’m an honest person,” “I’m a hard worker,” or “I’d never hit a woman.”
6. “I’m brutally honest” or some other excuse to be an unbearable person.
7. “Positive vibes only!” AKA do not criticize me even though it is completely justified.
8. “It was just a joke. Where’s your sense of humor?”
9. Recently had someone tell me, “I hate being accused of lying.” I’m sure we can all guess what he keeps getting caught doing…
10. Non-apologies. “I’m sorry you got offended by what I said.”
11. “Sorry I did this and that, it’s just my inner zodiac sign.” Like, your zodiac sign doesn’t define you, you’re just being a shitty person and using that phrase as a cover-up.
12. “My significant other won’t let me do so and so…”
13. “I’m an empath.” 90% of self-proclaimed “empaths” I know are narcissists with a VERY dire lack of consideration for anyone’s feelings but their own.
14. When someone says, “They’re my karma child,” which implies their child makes their life so hard it must be payback for a mistake they made in the past. It’s a shitty way of mentioning their disdain for their kid.
15. Someone who frequently, in response to you telling them about a bad or inconvenient thing that happened to you, starts with: “Well what you SHOULD have done…” or “What I would have done…” and then argue with your reasonings for not finding their solution helpful. These people tend to be very opinionated and stubborn, even in situations they don’t really know anything about. This is especially true if paired with a tendency to always win/have bad losing habits, are generally immature, or have a history of just not knowing what they’re talking about but just want to assert themselves in the conversation anyways.
16. “With all due respect…” I know a guy who says this so frequently that when he says it, I brace myself for the shit to follow.
17. “That’s just the way God made me,” as an excuse for being a bitch or dick. Like it’s just their personality and they can’t help it so we should all just accept it.
18. “No offense.” It’s always followed by the most offensive stuff.
19. Asking what music you listen to, then immediately critiquing it, especially when you like mainstream stuff. (I guess this applies to stuff other than music but that’s what annoys me the most.)
20. “I’m always open to debate.” I find most people that say that are open to lecture you and are closed to debate.
21. Anything that exposes poor morals. For example, “I’ll just say I never got it so they send me another one.” When people show you who they really are, believe them. Love this quote.
22. “I’m a nice guy.” Sure you are. Why you gotta explain it to me? Just show it.
23. When people say things like, “I can say and do whatever I want, it’s a free country. Ever hear of freedom of speech?” in order to justify shitty things they say or do. Like sure, you have the right to speak your mind, but people also have the right to judge you for what you say.
24. When people talk shit on their spouses. Like even in the most subtle way it’s still not appropriate small talk.
25. “But you’re so good at it.” Aka I’ll compliment you in the hope that you’ll take this task off my hands.
26. “I haven’t cried since I was a kid.”
27. “Can’t you just do it?” instead of wanting to learn something.
28. When they say, “It could have been worse” (Or something to that effect) every time they make a mistake. Yeah, it could have been worse, but you still wrecked my car Rachel.
29. “I just tell it like it is…” Is a red flag for me personally.
30. “I’m not (blank) but… (insert statement that affirms they are what they’re claiming not to be).