1. Either a lack of sense of humor or an incompatible sense of humor. I want to be able to laugh at the same stuff together.
2. Disparity between their expectations from you and what they’re prepared to put back into it.
3. Having absolutely no sense of accountability for their actions. Believe me, it is more common than you think.
4. You don’t treat the things I care about seriously. It shows me you won’t even put in the effort to act like you care.
5. Seeing how they speak to other people, especially when they aren’t around. If they shit talk their friends when they aren’t around, why would you think they wouldn’t do that to you as well?
6. Not being able to apologize. Everybody makes mistakes, doesn’t matter. Own up to it and I respect you even more. Seek excuses? Bye!
7. If you can’t have a civilized argument with them. If small differences at the start of the relationship already turn into screaming, shouting, insulting, etc. just think about how those important discussions later in the relationship will go…
8. “Tests” and indirect behavior. If you want something, tell me. I’m not playing a game just to see if I’m “worth” your attention.
9. Lack of respect for my boundaries.
10. Doesn’t let you have time to yourself/their entire life revolves around you to the point that they suffocate you.
11. Talking about exes too much to the line of comparing you two. Big no no for me.
12. Inflexible mind, or unwilling to learn new things or see other perspectives.
13. Handles problems badly. Need someone who is calm in stressful situations. Life is full of huge problems that will need two to deal with properly.
14. If they don’t let you show your emotions.
15. If they have sexist expectations of men. For instance, being bi-sexual, but acting like guys being bi-sexual is gross and unmasculine. Or wanting emotional support, reassurance, and compliments, then acting like you’re not a man for wanting or needing the same. Or acting like there are “man jobs” while thinking there are no “woman jobs”. Or judging you for being vulnerable or having weaknesses. Sorry, not gonna live in a prison to fit into your rigid view of what a man is. No matter how “hot” you are.
16. Poor work ethic/reliance on other people to provide long term.
17. Trying to have a clear “winner” in every discussion or disagreement. It’s you and me vs. the problem. We’re on the same team.
18. Possessive people. I’m not yours, you’re not mine. We chose to share our lives together and we have to make that choice again every day. Let’s build a project together, but we each still have our own individual projects to balance.
19. Toxic behavior overall. Trying to pressure me into something I don’t want to do.
20. I avoid gossips. That overly judgemental, complaining attitude they have towards other people is what you will eventually get when you’ve been with them for a while. It’s just what they are.
21. Shit-talking their ex/exes on the first couple dates. Especially if it’s consistent or they just start talking about it unprompted.
22. If she’s constantly flipping out over the smallest things.
23. Lack of honesty really. Also not being loyal, flirting with everyone, etc.
24. Heavy drug usage – Does this need an explanation?
25. Smoking cigarettes.
26. Expecting your man to be a mind reader. I’ll give it to you, after a long relationship we can sort of predict what you want us to do or say. But you’re an adult. Say what you want.
27. Lack of compromise early on.
28. On their phone a lot while you are together.
29. If they treat retail or service staff poorly for no reason. Big red flag.
30. Having absolutely no awareness. If she never admits she’s wrong, never apologizes, never says the phrase “oh, I didn’t know that.”