1. If he only cares about your body — but you’re falling in love with him. You don’t want to set yourself up for disappointment. You don’t want to continue sleeping with someone who has made it clear they’re only interested in a casual relationship. You don’t want to get your hopes up about him changing his mind because he’s been honest with you. He told you what he wanted — and it’s not the same thing that you want. If he ends up breaking your heart, he probably won’t take responsibility for it. He’ll probably act like you should’ve seen this coming since he was upfront with you from the start.
2. If he only cares about his own pleasure and ignores yours. Sex is supposed to be as exciting for you as it is for him. If the activity is over the second he finishes, and he never puts any effort into making sure you reach the finish line too, then you should stop sleeping with him. Your partner is supposed to care about your pleasure. They’re supposed to show you a good time. If they’re the only one benefitting from sex, then you might as well touch yourself. You don’t need him.
3. If you aren’t really interested in sleeping with him. If it’s not an enthusiastic yes, then it should be a no. You shouldn’t feel like you’re forced into being intimate with him. You don’t owe him anything. You don’t have to have sex with him because he bought you dinner or complimented your dress or surprised you with jewelry. Don’t let him guilt-trip you into giving him what he wants. You’re in complete control of your body. If you don’t want to sleep with him, then turn the offer down.
4. If you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. You should be sleeping with him because you’re excited to put your hands on him. Not because you’re hoping sex will save the relationship. Not because you feel like he’s going to leave if you refuse to have sex. Not because you feel like you need to repay him for all the nice things he’s done for you. Not because you want to manipulate him into doing something else nice for you. Not because it’s a routine and you feel like it’s expected of you.
5. If you feel uncomfortable around him. Sex is an intimate activity. You want a partner who is going to respect your body and your boundaries. If you feel like your partner keeps pushing you into trying activities that make you uncomfortable, or if your partner ignores you when you say no, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with him. He doesn’t deserve to lay a finger on you again.
6. If sex is the only good thing about the relationship. You deserve a partner who fulfills you emotionally and sexually. You don’t want to settle for less when you can have it all. Although you might miss sleeping with them at first, you can find something better with a partner who checks all your boxes.