1. You don’t fall in love with people. You fall in love with attention. It doesn’t really matter if you like the person you’ve been seeing. It matters if they like you, if they give you attention, if they make you feel attractive. You care more about their feelings than your own feelings because all you want is to feel wanted. All you want is to be romanced the way women are in the movies. It doesn’t matter who you’re dating. It matters whether they make you feel beautiful and intelligent and validated.

2. Your standards are dangerously low. If someone actually answers your texts and calls you pretty and treats you with respect, you feel like you’ve found a catch. It doesn’t matter if there’s chemistry. It doesn’t matter if you have anything in common. The second someone treats you somewhat decently, you feel like you’ve won the lottery. You’re so used to being treated like dirt that you think your standards have risen, but they haven’t risen nearly enough.

3. You enjoy the chase more than the actual relationship. You like flirting. You like playing the field. You like the idea of this person more than you like the actual person. Being with them is never as beautiful as you imagined because you had an unrealistic version of them in your head. You liked the person you thought they were instead of who they really are because you weren’t paying close enough attention.

4. You’re going after what you’re supposed to want instead of what you really want. You date anyone who looks good on paper. If they’re somewhat attractive and work hard and say all the right things, then you give them a chance. After all, you don’t want to stay single. You don’t really mind being alone — but you mind the way it makes you look. You mind the way others judge you over your relationship status. That’s why you’re more concerned with the way your relationship looks on social media than whether you’re truly fulfilled.

5. You have absolutely no idea what you want. You assume you know what you want because you’re supposed to know what you want. You’re supposed to have this figured out by now. You’re supposed to be in touch with your emotions, in tune with your inner self. But you haven’t really stopped to consider the question. You haven’t really invested energy into figuring out what type of person would make you happy.

6. You feel pressured to find someone soon. You’re getting older. Relationships are getting more serious. So many people you know have already settled down with the love of their life — and you don’t want to feel like you’re being left out. That’s why you usually date whoever happens to come along. You don’t put much thought into it. You simply go with the flow. If there’s a chance to start a relationship, you take it, because why not? You might as well enter a serious relationship, too. You might as well give love a shot.

However, it’s okay to be picky. It’s okay to really think about what would make you happy and be more selective in the dating process.