8 Things You Shouldn't Have To Do To Make Them Love You

8 Things You Shouldn’t Have To Do To Make Them Love You

1. Sleep with them. Sex isn’t going to convince them to date you. Sex isn’t going to make them value you more. Sex isn’t going to change their mind about whether they want to keep you in their world for longer or walk away. If that is the case, then you’re with the wrong person who values the wrong things. Your person should love you for your heart, mind, and soul, not only your body.

2. Spend money on them. It’s the thought that counts. Putting effort into surprising them and making them smile should be enough for them, even if you don’t spend a single cent. You shouldn’t have to buy them expensive gifts and dinners in order to impress them. Money shouldn’t be their main priority.

3. Send them naked photos. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you want to send photos to someone, have fun. But if it’s their idea and it makes you feel strange, then listen to your gut. Don’t let them peer pressure you.

4. Change your personality or appearance. You shouldn’t have to change anything about yourself in order to make them love you. You shouldn’t have to dress differently or do your hair differently. You shouldn’t have to lose weight or gain weight. You shouldn’t have to alter your hobbies or your career goals to match theirs better. You shouldn’t have to play pretend. You should be your true self around them.

5. Accept poor treatment. You shouldn’t accept poor treatment from them so they can wake up one morning and realize you’re such a good person for putting up with them. You shouldn’t have to endure heartache in order to prove to them that you aren’t going to leave. You shouldn’t be forced to play those games. You shouldn’t be treated like you’re nothing.

6. Cut others out of your life. You shouldn’t have to pull away from your friends and family in order to spend more time with this person. You shouldn’t have to walk away from guy friends to prove you’re going to stay loyal, either. You shouldn’t have to rearrange your friend group in a way that makes this other person feel better.

7. Fight for their attention. Your person should treat you like a priority. You shouldn’t feel like a backup plan. You shouldn’t feel like the last case scenario that they settle for when everyone else is busy. There should be enough room in their lives for you and their loved ones. If it feels like you’re in constant competition with the other people in their life, then you probably deserve better. You should probably leave.

8. Convince them you have value. You’re not responsible for convincing someone you are worth their time and attention. You shouldn’t have to list out your best traits, do constant favors for them, and bend over backward to accommodate them so that they’ll give you a chance. The right person will be interested from the start. They won’t need you to chase them before giving you the time of day. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.