X Ways You're Accidentally Signaling That You Don't Want To Date (When You Actually Do)

7 Ways You’re Accidentally Signaling That You Don’t Want To Date (When You Actually Do)

1. You’re treating your crushes like best friends.ย You want to be friends with the people you date — but early on, you don’t want to confuse them about their role in your life. You don’t want to call them buddyย orย palย or make them feel like they’re a brother/sister to you. You need to make it clear that you see them as more than a friend, that there’s a romantic and sexual interest as well. Otherwise, they might not make a move. They might assume you’re happy staying friends.

2. You talk to them about your other crushes.ย Maybe you’re trying to make them jealous by bringing up other people — or maybe you’re trying to make it seem like you’re desirable and have plenty of other options. Either way, this could easily backfire on you. If your crush thinks you’re interested in someone else, they aren’t going to ask you out because they’ll assume they’ll get rejected. They’ll assume they aren’t your type.

3. You complain to them about how much you hate dating.ย Maybe you’re ranting about dating in order to get romance on their mind. But if you’re always whining about how much you hate first dates and awkward kisses and finding people who are worth your energy, they might assume you aren’t interested in dating right now. Or they might think you’re a little too dramatic for them. They want to be around someone who makes them happy, not someone who stresses them out.

4. You only flirt with them when you’re wasted.ย You might think you’re getting your point across by flirting with them half the time and acting normal half the time, but you might actually be sending mixed signals. You might be confusing them. Even worse, they might assume you aren’t all that serious about them since you only flirt when you’re drunk. They might assume it doesn’t mean anything.

5. You treat everyone else the same way you treat them.ย If they realize you’re giving cute little compliments to all your friends, then they aren’t going to think anything of it when you compliment them. They’re going to assume you’re just being nice. You need to make it clear that you think of them differently. Make it obvious you have strong, romantic feelings for them.

6. You only hang out with them in groups.ย Maybe you’re nervous about hanging out with them one-on-one because you like them so much, but you’re never going to date if you can’t be alone together. If you only hang out in groups, they won’t know whether you’re showing up to see them or to see someone else. They won’t have any idea who you’re interested in dating.

7. You never send the first message.ย Maybe you’re bad at coming up with conversation starters or get nervous about sending the first text, but you can’t let your nerves stop you from flirting. If you never initiate conversations or hangout sessions, they’re going to assume you aren’t interested. They’re going to assume you can easily go days without talking to them. They’re going to assume you aren’t looking for a relationship. TC mark

About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer and a collective pen name. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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