30 Real People On The Lesson They Learned From Their First Love

30 Real People On The Lesson They Learned From Their First Love

Ask Reddit wants you to remember these little lessons about love.

1. Getting into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship is the worst reason to be in a relationship.

Likewise, liking someone because they like you is the worst reason to like someone.

You want to date “a person,” not “their company.”

2. Don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t let go of your self-respect.

3. Being alone is better than forcing yourself to be with someone you don’t love.

4. Love isn’t enough of a reason to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you.

5. You should never take any relationship for granted – you always need to make efforts and work towards keeping a happy relationship with the ones you love.

6. You are not responsible for the other person’s happiness if you aren’t happy yourself. Don’t feel obligated to stay just because you’ve been together a while.

7. You’re never 100% compatible with the other person. You just have to find out if you can live with that 5% incompatibility, and if you don’t think you can, you need to leave ASAP. Don’t wait several years, hoping things will be different or that you will change your mind.

8. Don’t try to change for someone. It won’t work.

9. You can love someone but not want to make a lifelong commitment to them.

10. You absolutely have to be on the same page as far as life goals go.

11. Never send sexy pictures with your face in them. Doesn’t matter how in love you are, people get cruel after breakups.

12. Screaming at each other during arguments is not healthy.

13. Red flags on the first date won’t go away, so better to save yourself trouble and leave instead of leaving a few months later for those same flags, no matter how desperate you are.

14. Long-distance relationships aren’t for everyone.

15. The phrase “trust but verify” is real and should be taken seriously.

16. Just because you treat someone well doesn’t mean they’ll return the favor, and the amount of people you can trust in this world is a lot less than you think.

17. I learned not to ever let someone threaten me with their own mental health/decisions again.

18. Despite how much you love someone, you can be incompatible.

19. Consistent small things are far more valuable than big months or anniversary efforts.

20. “Feelings” will fade away and what makes a relationship strong and healthy is the everyday, conscious commitment to love one another.

21. If you join their friend group while you’re dating, then the relationship ends, you’re going to have no friends.

22. Sometimes people just fall out of love and there nothing you can do about, regardless of how much you love them. You just have to move on with your life.

23. You don’t have to hate your ex.

24. Don’t get too attached to the family.

25. Lust is VERY easy to confuse with love.

26. You can’t make someone love you simply because you do so much for them. Doormat is not a good look on anybody! Also, listen to your gut.

27. Communicate, be open, share fully, and take it one day at a time.

28. How important pillow talk is, it takes little effort and seems minuscule but it can mean a lot to the other person and really strengthen your connection with the other person.

29. The best apology is changed behavior.

30. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change themselves. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.