6 Gentle Reminders When Your Ex Wants To Stay Friends

6 Gentle Reminders When Your Ex Wants To Stay Friends

1. You should put your mental health in front of your friendship. Unfortunately, most exes are unable to remain friends. There is too much history. Too much drama. Too much unresolved heartache. You don’t want to force yourself to take the high road and remain friends with an ex when it’s secretly killing you inside. If you’re struggling to talk to this person without bursting into tears, then let them know a friendship is off the table.

2. You don’t owe your ex anything. You’re broken up now. You don’t owe your ex anything. Not your time and not your attention. Although you might feel mean for cutting them out of your life, remember, you aren’t obligated to stay friends with them. You don’t have to text them back. You don’t have to agree to hang out with them. You don’t have to put yourself through the pain of pretending to be friends when you know it’s never going to work.

3. You aren’t a bitch for walking away from them. Saying goodbye to an ex doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t make you selfish. It doesn’t make you cruel. It’s hard to maintain a friendship with someone when you used to date. It’s hard to switch from loving this person to being platonic with this person. If you cannot stand the change in your dynamic, it’s okay for you to walk away. Let them know your heart needs some time to heal. If they don’t understand where you’re coming from, then they’re the selfish one.

4. What happens today doesn’t have to last forever. If it breaks your heart to leave this person behind, even though you know it’s what’s best for you, remind yourself things don’t have to remain this way forever. Maybe you can reunite in the future, but for now, you need your space. Take things one day at a time. Today, spending too much time with them would be bad for you, but maybe tomorrow things will change. Maybe you will end up friends after all.

5. You deserve happiness. You don’t deserve to feel miserable every single day because it hurts to see the person who broke your heart. You don’t deserve to be weighed down with jealousy as you watch them develop a relationship with someone new. You deserve to move on from this person. And you deserve to discover happiness without them.

6. Sometimes, out of sight really does mean out of mind. You’d be surprised how helpful it is to delete your ex from social media — or at least mute them so they don’t randomly pop up on your feed and ruin your day. It’s much easier to get over someone when you aren’t constantly reminded of them. Although it might feel wrong to delete your ex from your life, you have to remember that you have to do whatever makes you the most comfortable. Do whatever helps you heal. If your ex really values you as a friend, then they’ll understand. They’ll want you to be okay without them. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.