X Things You Shouldn't Be Putting Effort Into In 2020

11 Relationship-Based Things You Shouldn’t Be Putting Effort Into In 2020

1. Unfulfilling relationships. If someone is unable to see your worth, don’t invest energy into them. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, don’t invest energy into them. If someone simply doesn’t click with you, don’t invest energy into them. You should surround yourself with people who bring you happiness, not stress.

2. Bad sex. If your partner doesn’t care about your pleasure and isn’t interested in learning what makes you tick, then there’s no reason to put so much energy into their pleasure. Sex should be a two-way street. If they don’t want to put in the effort, neither should you.

3. One-sided conversations. You shouldn’t be carrying the conversation. You shouldn’t be the only one coming up with topics and typing out paragraphs while the other person gives one-word responses. If they can’t keep a conversation going, you should end it.

4. Immature men (and women). It’s not your job to teach someone how to behave in a relationship. If they are unable to treat you right, then walk away. You’re not responsible for raising them. You’re not their parent.

5. Liars and cheaters. You don’t have to give someone another chance out of the goodness of your heart. It doesn’t matter how much they beg and cry to have you back. They had an opportunity to date you — and they blew it. You might be initiating the breakup, but they caused it.

6. Dressing for others. Dress for yourself. Wear what you like. Screw what other people think. The right person will love your own personal style. They won’t expect you to pretend to be someone else.

7. Hiding your feelings. Don’t waste your energy by stuffing your emotions deep down in your chest instead of putting them out in the open. You’re allowed to express how you’re feeling. If someone can’t handle your thoughts and opinions, then they don’t deserve you. You should move along.

8. Chasing after someone. You shouldn’t have to fight for someone’s attention. You shouldn’t have to beg for a text back or a phone call or a hangout session. If someone respects you and appreciates you and enjoys spending time with you, they will be excited to spend time with you. You won’t have to force them into the idea.

9. Looking perfect on social media. You don’t have to post couple photos on social media — or you could post goofy, silly shots that are blurred and off-center. You don’t have to pose like professional models in order to come across as couple goals. Besides, it doesn’t matter what others think of your relationship. It only matters whether you two are happy together.

10. Coming across as chill. Even though it’s scary to be your unfiltered self, real relationships involve two real people, not two people pretending to be someone they’re not. If you want your love to last, be upfront from the start.

11. Pretending you’re happy single — or happy in the wrong relationship. Stop pretending in order to impress other people. Be honest with others and with yourself. If you’re unhappy, you’re allowed to voice your opinion. You don’t have to lie. TC mark

About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, dreamer, and occasional exotic dancer and a collective pen name. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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