You shouldn’t feel bad about having any of these bad habits. They’re not your fault. They’re a product of dating the wrong people and getting the wrong idea of how love should look.

1. If you’ve dated someone with a short temper, you probably have a bad habit of tiptoeing around what you’re saying. You’re probably careful about how much information you give away. You probably take a long time to think things through before you say anything out loud. You probably keep secrets and tell little white lies because you’ve trained yourself to avoid stepping on landmines. Because you’re scared of what might happen if you admit the truth.

2. If you’ve dated someone who cheated, you probably have a bad habit of snooping around. You probably want to see who your partner has been texting and what pictures they’ve been liking on social media. You probably want to make sure that they haven’t been talking to any exes or past flings behind your back. You probably want to double-check to make sure they really have deleted their dating apps like they promised. You probably need to see proof for yourself before you believe it because you’ve been fooled before.

3. If you’ve dated a player who has strung you along, then you probably have a bad habit of asking too many questions. You’re probably a skeptic when it comes to love. You probably quiz your partners in order to test whether their answers make sense. You’re probably keeping an eye out for holes in their story. You’re probably worried you’re getting strung along while they’re out with other people. You’re probably terrified that your feelings are actually one-sided after all.

4. If you’ve dated someone who called you crazy for expressing your emotions, then you probably have a bad habit of bottling up those feelings. You probably lie about being fine when you’re secretly dying inside. You probably cry behind closed doors. You probably fake smiles. You probably keep your partner at a distance because you assume they don’t want to be bothered with your drama, they don’t want to hear what you have to say, they don’t want to wipe away your teardrops.

5. If you’ve dated someone who got physical when they were angry, you probably have a bad habit of avoiding confrontation. You’re probably terrified of speaking up when you feel wronged. You’re probably hesitant to admit when something has been bugging you, no matter how small. You probably sweep your problems under the rug because you don’t want to cause trouble. You don’t want to give the other person any reason to get angry with you.

6. If you’ve dated someone who only cared about your body, then you probably have a bad habit of using sex to get what you want. You probably worry everyone you meet is only interested in your body and will leave as soon as they get what they want from you. You probably assume it’s impossible to find someone who cares about you as a person, not just a sex toy. You probably have a hard time believing there are people who enjoy your personality, not just your beauty.