1. Take a long time to text her back. Make her wonder where you are, why you aren’t answering, and when you’re coming home.
2. Be weird about your phone. Hide it from her. Put on a lock screen without telling her the password. Bring it with you every time you leave the room.
3. Be secretive about who you’re texting. When you’re smiling or laughing at the screen and she asks who you’re talking to, avoid answering the question. Make her wonder who it could possibly be.
4. Flirt with other women in front of her. Check them out. Comment on how pretty they are. Make her feel like she’s in competition with complete strangers.
5. Dodge her question about the future. Change the topic whenever she starts asking about marriage or children or where you see your relationship heading in the future. Make her wonder whether you’re forever or temporary.
6. Don’t put a label on your relationship. Tell her you’re looking to have fun. Tell her you don’t want to ruin the great thing you have by making it serious.
7. Keep dating apps on your phone. Refuse to delete them. Refuse to make her feel secure in the relationship.
8. Continue talking to your exes. And any other girls who show an interest in you. See how far you can push boundaries. See what you can get away with.
9. Like scandalous pictures on Instagram. Comment beneath them. DM them. Act like it’s no big deal when she finds out.
10. Dress better for work (or to hang out with friends) than to hang out with her. Wear cologne, too. Make her wonder who you’re trying to look nice for while she’s stuck at home.
11. Refuse to tell her details about your night. Spend hours out on the town. When you come home, don’t tell her who you were with or what you were doing. Keep your secrets to yourself.
12. Come home smelling like someone else’s perfume. With lipstick marks on you. And a shitty explanation.
13. Tell little white lies. Lie in order to get yourself out of trouble. Lie in order to avoid taking responsibility for what you’ve done.
14. Stop having sex with her. Don’t explain the change in your libido. Don’t explain why you aren’t interested in touching her anymore. Just stop sleeping with her — and holding her hand.
15. Block her from your social media. Make sure she can’t see who you’re talking to online. Make sure she’s unable to call you out on the flirting you’ve been doing behind her back.
16. Change your schedule out of the blue. Don’t tell her what you’re doing on weekends. Don’t tell her why you’re suddenly too busy to see her. Don’t explain yourself because you only care about yourself.
17. Stop arguing with her. Stop trying to solve your problems. Stop putting effort into the relationship. Stop caring about what she thinks of you because you don’t really care whether the relationship ends anyway.
18. Go MIA. Ghost her. Drop out of her life for weeks before returning. Make it clear that you don’t respect her time or her love for you.
19. Get paranoid about her cheating — even when she’s done nothing wrong. Shift the blame onto her. Let your guilt eat you alive.