1. While my friend was using my phone, my mom texted me, “Remember not to have sex with Thomas, he has chlamydia.”
2. I was planning Halloween costumes with a friend one year and we decided to do the Breaking Bad guys. At work, with my phone face up I was with some coworkers and got an alert that read, “I found the little baggies for the meth.” Immediately stopped notifications forever and ever amen.
3. I was the sender once when I texted my friend who was planning to break up with her boyfriend, “Hope you’re ok, how did Gary take the break up?” When Gary was using her phone and hadn’t yet been broken up with. Sorry Gary.
4. Not my notification but I sent to my best girl friend: “You’re right, future husband’s dad is weird. And a little racist.” And her future husband saw the text. Luckily he laughed and agreed with me. But I was so embarrassed that he saw it.
5. Chatting to a guy in a bar, handed him my phone so he could type his number in. At that moment a message pops up from my friend sat several tables away saying, “Shag him.”
6. My aunt was like, “Hey, is that the new Samsung, can I see it?” I say, “Sure,” and then I got a text from my girlfriend: “Good news! I had my period!”
7. I was showing my grandma some pictures. She chuckled a bit and quickly handed me back my phone. I looked at it and saw that my boyfriend (now husband) had texted me saying, “I hate it when I’m pooping and my dick touches the water. Big dick problems.” We laughed about it, but my husband is still horrified by the thought of my grandma knowing about his “big dick problems.”
8. Imagine my conservative 15 yr old little brother’s face when my boyfriend texted, “I’ll destroy your pussy,” while we were watching some stupid goat on YouTube.
9. “Gonna fuck your ass so hard tonight, love <3” Sorry for you having to see that, mother.
10. Border patrol had my phone and my buddy sent me a text in which he jokingly said something like, “What makes you think they’ll let you in this time?” or something like that.
11. I was chatting with a guy and it was going well, nothing sexual maybe mild flirting. So I didn’t care when I gave my buddy my phone for some reason. Then across the room he yells, “YO THIS DUDE JUST ASKED IF YOU’D BE DOWN FOR ANAL!”
12. “Good news, the bump is not yours. Bad news, you might have herpes.” From a former FWB I had run into earlier in the day, while my girlfriend at the time had my phone.
13. Showing my aunt a pic when a text saying, “I’d fuck the shit out of machine gun Kelly” appeared. We both pretended we didn’t see it and quickly started talking about something else.
14. My crush was holding my phone at lunch playing Minecraft. My friends at another table texted me and said, “I bet you have a BONER.”
15. A guy I sext sent some emojis, while my dad was trying to fix my phone… Didn’t go too well…
16. Was showing a male client how to use google maps and my husband sent me a dirty text. I’m a therapist. Never grabbed a phone faster.
17. “I’m gonna shit on your chest” whilst my mum had my phone. I had some explaining to do…
18. My friend texting me, “I’ll eat ur ass,” while I was showing my mom a meme… never swiped away a notification so fast in my life.
19. This actually happened recently, I gave my dad my phone to call my mom because his phone was dead, and my girlfriend sent me a text that said something along the lines of, “Hey, do you wanna have some fun at my house tonight?” My dad LOST it laughing.
20. Left my phone on the kitchen table and went to pee. My parents were making dinner and my mum saw the “wanna fuck?” notification from my boyfriend pop up. I was confused when I came back in the kitchen and my parents were laughing. Thanks Iphone.
21. Story apps can give really interesting ones.
My favorite that popped up while my boyfriend was holding my phone was something like, “Mike misses you! Come back and play!” Or something like that.
Of course all he did was pull the drop down menu down to see the full notification and laugh.
He teased me about it for hours.
22. My boyfriend and I send each other shit randomly during the day like “FedEx me that pecker” or “flap them tits my way.” I was showing my mom something on my phone once and he sends, “Gonna slap you with my dick tonight.”
23. A male friend of mine sent me a message for the first time in 4 months that was just “Ily.” Right as my GF held the phone…
24. My friend sent a poop pic while my then girlfriend was checking the weather for us one morning.
25. My friend made this fake account on Twitter and followed me exactly at the time my teacher had taken my phone away. The notification read @analfister6969 has followed you.
26. My SIL was staying with me for a week, which I wasn’t stoked about. My sister knew about it and messaged me, “How are you dealing with (SIL’s name)? Do you need to pretend to have a nap again lol?”
Unfortunately my SIL was borrowing my tablet at the time and saw the notification pop up. She hasn’t stayed with us since.
27. A couple of years ago met a guy from Tinder in a pub for our first date. Things were going well, we were having a laugh and flirting. After about an hour I took out my phone to show him a funny meme and up popped a notification from my new period tracking app saying, “Today’s the day! You’re ovulating!”
I swiped it real quick and I don’t think he got a good look at it but I was still worried he’d think I was some child-obsessed weirdo who timed my dates so random Tinder guys could impregnate me. I turned off ovulation notifications after that.
28. Years ago I was working at an Apple store as a Genius (technician) and was helping an older woman with her phone. This woman had to be in her late 60s early 70s, as sweet as could be, and was having some minor issues with her phone, I think it was battery life or something.
So she hands me her phone, and just as she does a message pops up with a picture of a toilet full of shit and the message reads, “How many times do I have to tell you to flush the fucking toilet?!”
Not knowing really what to do I just hand it back to her and tell her she has a message. She takes the phone, half smiles, closes the message and hands it back saying, “Sorry about that sweetheart, my daughter can be a bit of a bitch.”
29. Was showing my mum some cake ideas for my wife’s 30th that I was considering. My wife text me and my mum (for unknown reasons) got a full view of my wife’s poon with the caption: “Guess what you’re eating for dessert tonight?”
I tried to grab my phone back, and my mum went back to browsing cakes without skipping a beat. As I was leaving my mum thought it would be funny to ask, “Would you like 2nd dessert tonight, because I have a trifle in the fridge?”
I nearly died of shame.
30. Tiddy pic. While my mom was holding my phone.