30 Things Introverts Wish Their Best Friends Understood Better

30 Things Introverts Wish Their Best Friends Understood Better

Introverts from Ask Reddit want you to remember these key things about their personality.

1. Just because I don’t want to go out doesn’t mean I don’t like you.

2. Pointing out how quiet I am won’t suddenly make me talkative.

It sounds like you’re pointing out a flaw that you dislike about me which makes me unnecessarily uncomfortable around you. I remain even more quiet than I usually would be because I feel judged and unwelcome for simply being myself. Not to mention, it comes out of nowhere.

It’s as if I told you “you talk a lot” with a straight face. You wouldn’t take it as a compliment. It doesn’t even sound like an observation that should be said out loud. You’d just wonder what the hell was the point of me saying that to you.

Honestly, how do you even reply to this without sounding offended or snarky?

3. Being an introvert sometimes means I don’t want to talk, but can also mean that I want to listen to YOU talk.

4. Just because we’re introverts doesn’t mean we’re not interesting or have no hobbies. We have our own set of pastimes and likings, but sometimes we’re just not comfortable sharing or talking about them.

5. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, it’s that I straight up don’t want to talk. At all. To anyone.

6. Stop trying to ‘change’ introversion. It’s not a flaw. If I don’t want to dance, don’t push me. If I don’t want to flirt in a club, stop saying I should get over it. Stop pushing me to be ‘more social’.

7. I’m not lazy, I just need time to recover.

8. Small talk is worse than interviews.

9. Alone is not the same thing as lonely.

10. Texts are emails, not instant chats.

11. In any social group/ party, I’m happy to sit silently and observe. No, I’m not feeling left alone. No, I’m not getting bored. Your pointing that out only makes me more awkward.

12. I want somebody to understand what I’m feeling, but I don’t have the courage to tell people what I’m feeling, so I might just seem distant.

13. I’ll talk but I need 7-10 business days to think about what I’m going to say and revise it at least 14 times before I say it.

If you ask me a question and I don’t answer for a minute I’m not trying to be an asshole or ignoring you but I am STRUGGLING to come up with the proper words to say. A lot of the time I don’t even realize just how long I have to think to conjure up the words to convey what I’m trying to say… especially if it’s something to do with how I feel and somebody else’s feelings are involved trying to figure out what to say feels like diffusing a bomb sometimes.

Which is why typing is 10x better (and I always turn off the little typing animation if I can so that people don’t make fun of me for typing for 10 minutes to say two sentences).

14. Just because I’m a good listener doesn’t mean you can constantly use me as your soundboard/therapist.

15. I’m actually cool with sitting in silence with you for an hour or so. I don’t feel the need to fill the silence and don’t feel awkward not speaking.

16. If I’m quiet, I promise I’m not judging you or anything around us. 99% of the time, I’m thinking about something totally unrelated.

17. Please don’t tell us to smile more.

18. Lockdown is pretty much how I live my life anyway. Contactless delivery has been an awesome addition.

19. I hate phone calls and I do not understand why you “miss my voice.” I have never missed anyone’s voice. That’s weird. I hate when people text, “I know you hate phone calls but can I please just call you for a bit.” Ugh. No.

20. We’re not inferior or less mature just because we don’t feel the need to talk over people. In fact, that’s actually what we think about you when you needlessly blurt out rude comments.

21. Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down.

22. Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

23. Introverts don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for introverts.

24. Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

25. Shyness has nothing to do with being an introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

26. Introverts don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

27. When I say I am doing nothing, I mean I am doing nothing.

28. Headphones/earbuds in ears = don’t talk to me.

29. If you point out that I’m quiet I’m 100x less likely to ever open up to you.

30. I’m not depressed or lonely. I genuinely enjoy staying home and spending time by myself. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.