30 Hilarious Excuses For Showing Up Late

30 Hilarious Excuses For Showing Up Late

The next time you’re late for work or school, here are some fun excuses from Ask Reddit.

1. My dog looked too cute and I had to stay to pet her some more.

2. I’m not late, I’m just early for tomorrow.

3. I got lost on the path of life.

4. A wizard is never late! Nor is he early. He always arrives precisely when he means to.

5. I’m late because of who I am as a person.

6. Time is a mathematical invention to explain the passage of the sun through the sky. I am unencumbered by such mortal irrelevancies, and frankly, I pity those who are.

7. I’d apologize for being late but I do not value your time.

8. My clock passed away today.

9. A queen is never late, everyone else is simply early.

10. My dog pooped in the house. I couldn’t just let that sit around for hours until I returned home.

11. I was too tired because I’m overworked. It would’ve been unsafe to drive in that condition.

12. I couldn’t be bothered to care. Be happy I’m here at all.

13. I’m late because I didn’t want to be here at all and this seemed like a good compromise.

14. I couldn’t find my pants.

15. My alarm was set to PM instead of AM.

16. I was busy working on this excuse.

17. I’m sorry. Someone told me to go to hell. I couldn’t find it at first, but now I’m here.

18. Sorry, you’re not important enough for me to leave sooner and risk being early.

19. I didn’t want to be here.

20. I needed coffee.

21. Sorry. I value my time more than yours.

22. I was born late. And my mom still hates me for it.

23. Sorry I’m late… I left late.

24. I’m a lazy fuck.

25. If it wasn’t for that traffic light turning red I would have been on time.

26. I’m not late. You’re all just extremely early.

27. I operate on my time.

28. Sorry, Bohemian Rhapsody came on right when I parked.

29. I ran out of gas looking for cheap gas.

30. I’m an asshole, and I have poor time management skills. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

January Nelson

January Nelson

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University.