30 Types Of Drunks (That Will Describe You And All Your Friends)

1. The rich kind. I may be broke as hell and counting my cents earlier that day and waiting for a check, but when I pass a certain point in the evening I start paying shots and beers left and right like if I was a millionaire baby.

2. The “orders crazy shit online” kind of drunk.

So far, I’ve ordered grumpy cat leggings, an embroidery set, socks that make your legs look like chicken legs, the entire Harry Potter series in Dutch and Swedish (I speak neither language), concert tickets, a popcorn machine, a llama flower pot, countless pizzas, and more alcohol.

3. Hungry drunk. Drunk me at the pub definitely means loads of oysters, wings, and garlic bread will be consumed.

4. The one who talks about life, death, and existence after two tequila shots.

5. A silly, “Snoopy dance” flower picking, can ride my bicycle like a champ but can’t walk, kind of drunk.

6. Drunk me makes elaborate plans to do things with people that sober me never follows through with.

7. The really touchy kind, really huggy and lovey-dovey, which is weird because I rarely ever hug people.

8. A quiet drunk. I just wanna sit back and be part of the group without really having to speak unless I’m spoken to. Also I bump into a bunch of stuff because my center of gravity’s all thrown off.

9. The sleepy kind.

10. The let’s go on an adventure type.

11. Probably the worst kind — horny drunk.

12. I’m typically a quiet, reserved sober that turns into a fun-loving, talkative drunk that wants to befriend everyone around them.

13. The kind that is constantly worried if he is too drunk.

14. Man. I’m the worst. I mean, I overshare sober. Drunk Me has no filter AT ALL. I mean, she’s hilarious. But I always wake up thinking, “I said WHAT to WHO?!??!?!”

15. I’m the “omg I’m so drunk” guy that only had two beers. If I legit drink a lot I turn into the “I’m not that drunk” guy that can barely even form a sentence, let alone walk.

16. Happy, fun, chill. Inexorable. I’m down to keep the party going until there isn’t anyone left standing, usually including myself. Alcohol magically appears sometimes because it’s just too early for the party to end.

17. I act very funny, horny, and giggly when I get drunk. Almost like when I’m high.

18. Extremely paranoid drunk.

19. An infuriating sleepy mess. Drunk me wants to nap somewhere comfy and will do absolutely ANYTHING to achieve that goal.

20. Real lovey-dovey, and I always try to get people to read my poetry.

21. The magician drunk, I can disappear only to reappear in a whole new location.

22. I start telling everyone how great they are and that they can definitely pursue their dreams.

23. I just want to hug everyone and tell them I love them, up until the point where I’ve had too much. Then I just want to be left alone.

24. I get so, SO slutty. Then the sober, hopeless romantic me gets butthurt when the guy from the bar just wanted to hook up and doesn’t want to go out on a date. Tragic.

25. I like to clean when I’m drunk.

26. Angry, violent and awful. I have an allergic reaction to alcohol that causes me to breakout in handcuffs.

27. I’m a runner. I don’t get really crazy, but I like to run everywhere.

28. The loud type that speaks everything that comes to mind and laughs like A LOT.

29. I can go from witty and charming to extremely tired within a minute.

30. Sober drunk. Like I don’t drink but you can catch me doing some drunk guy shit pretty regularly.