1. Someone holding the door for you when you are too far away so you have to either start jogging or make them stand there an extra 10 seconds and seem like a dick.
2. If you think someone is upset about something and you ask them and they tell you they aren’t then just leave it alone. I understand you mean well but insisting that someone “tell you what’s wrong” when there’s nothing wrong is a sure fire way to make something wrong.
The correct response to being complimented or congratulated is ‘thank you’. It is not to say shit like ‘oh it’s nothing’ or ‘it’s not that good’. Saying things like that makes the person complimenting you feel stupid and makes people who can’t or haven’t achieved what you have feel inadequate and useless.
No one likes a show-off, but there’s a level of over-modesty that comes round to seeming boastful again, as if you’re above your achievements and so also above the achievements of others.
Take your compliments, brushing them off is a shitty thing to do.
4. Unsolicited advice on my mental health conditions or chronic illness. Trust me I tried yoga, water, vitamins, exercise, etc. I know you want to help but unless I ask I don’t want to talk about it, my life already revolves around it.
5. Saying bless you to someone after the 4th-5th sneeze and do on. If the person keeps sneezing you don’t have to keep going until the 12th fucking sneeze and so on.
6. When a guy (usually an older gentleman) swears then looks at you and says sorry as if you’ve never heard a fucking swear word in your adult life as a woman. I usually respond by saying don’t fucking worry about it.
7. When someone uses your name too often while talking to you. Dude, I know what my name is.
8. Putting someone else on the phone. This happens ALL the time with my family. I’ll call my aunt to chat and she’ll hand the phone to my cousin to ‘say hi’. My cousin on the other side of my family does it too. If I had wanted to talk to that person I would have called them directly!
9. People who constantly say “be positive, stop thinking negative!” or overly optimistic individuals baffles me as a way of being “encouraging” — it just shows that you’re either being disingenuous towards what the other party is feeling, apathetic, ignorant, unrealistic, or all of the mentioned. Not saying the opposite is any better (I get annoyed with overly pessimistic individuals just as much), but pretending that problems don’t exist isn’t a feasible way to handle them.
10. Saying « hi » only to women you find attractive and calling that being polite.
11. People who practically force you to eat and drink when you visit them, to the point where they take it as a slight against them if you say no.
12. I don’t like people getting food for me, without asking. I totally appreciate the good intentions, I just wish they wouldn’t do it.
13. Trying to arrange socialization for someone moving to a new city.
“Oh, you’re moving to bumblefuck? My sister’s hairdresser lives there, I’ll put you guys in touch!”
14. Forcing your help on someone. Like: “Here, let me help you with that box.” Takes box without waiting for response.
15. Telling women that they look better without makeup. I don’t wear makeup because I think I’m ugly, I wear makeup because the process is very soothing to me and I love embracing my natural features. Also, don’t tell me how much makeup I need to wear and how I “wear too much”. You don’t see me pointing out the things I don’t like about your appearance and making back handed compliments about it.
16. Asking “are you ok?” every five minutes.
17. Super specific, but being asked a question and then getting the “are you sure?” after you answer is my number one pet peeve. I used to be stressed out to high heavens when I was a kid over making decisions. Like, to the point of tears sometimes. Because of that, I ended up being someone who makes decisions in a split second and forces myself to stick to them.
I get it, everybody does that because they want to be polite and make sure you’re happy with whatever you decided. That’s my weird thing, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t drive me insane whenever I hear it.
Just because everybody else pussyfoots around whether or not they want to eat shitty pizza or shitty Chinese every fucking Friday doesn’t mean that I will. I overcompensate from my dumb childhood trauma by knowing exactly what I want, always, forever. It’s bordering on a character flaw at this point. I’M SURE.
18. When someone tries to pay for something for you and insist when you say, “No thanks.”
19. “Thoughts and prayers.”
20. Tapping on someone’s shoulder.
21. When the store employee follows you around constantly asking, “Can I help you with anything?”
23. People who say, “Smile!”
24. When you’re upset and someone notices and asks you what’s wrong in public in front of other people. Like I get that they’re trying to be helpful but asking me to talk about what’s bothering me in front of others and alerting others to the fact that I’m not ok is just terrible. Pull me to the side and privately talk to me PLEASE.
25. When you have horrible acne and people feel the need to stay stuff like, “It will get better. Have you tried drinking more water?”
26. When you’re sharing an appetizer or whatever with someone you’re supposed to do the “no you have it” dance over the last bite. If you tell me to go ahead, I’m gonna eat it and I don’t wanna deal with any pouting/stink eye.
27. Never making a decision or having an opinion.
28. When parents insist that their kids give you a hug. Even if you know the parents well, the kids might not feel comfortable hugging you and the whole situation just becomes awkward and uncomfortable for them. I adore my nieces and nephews, but if they say no when I ask for a hug I’ll respect that, it should be their choice.
29. Giving people pets as gifts.
30. Somebody waving you on in traffic when they have the right of way.