The 30 Biggest Turn Offs In Serious, Long-Term Relationships

The 30 Biggest Turn Offs In Serious, Long-Term Relationships

If you are in a serious relationship, you should be aware of the biggest turn-offs mentioned on Ask Reddit.

1. Always wanting you to be there for them but not returning the favor.

2. Refusal to admit they have done anything wrong. Never apologizing. Constantly positioning as the victim. Deluding themselves by twisting reality so they never have to honestly look at themselves.

3. Putting the other person down when they’re interested in/excited about something.

4. Low self-esteem to the point you have to dance around their feelings constantly out of fear they’ll blow up over the most minuscule things.

5. Inability to communicate problems without yelling or insults.

6. Being mean and full of yourself. The idea that one person is the prize and the other person is lucky to have the other one.

7. Not having your back when people are talking shit about you. You know what someone really thinks of you when shit hits the fan, or you aren’t there to defend yourself. We’re supposed to be a team, act like it.

8. Cheating. No more said.

9. When you realize there would be no plans, unless you are the one to initiate them.

10. The inability to do nothing. Dated this girl once who just always had to be doing something, she just couldn’t sit quietly for 5 mins. As someone who is an absolute master of doing nothing, this just drove me crazy.

11. Someone who is always complaining. It could be about the smallest things or really big things. But a person that is a constant source of negativity is not someone I personally would like to spend too much time with. It comes down to that saying, “If it smells like shit wherever you go, check under your shoe.”

12. Not having opinions on things. On some stuff… you should know where you stand.

13. Lying. If there isn’t complete transparency and trust at all times, there isn’t a relationship. If you lack honesty with your partner it’ll lead to all kinds of issues down the road so it’s definitely a red flag/major turn off.

14. Talking disparagingly about exes. I don’t mean complaining about little things, but just ragging on them. If it’s always the other person’s fault, it’s probably yours.

15. Intentionally causing a fight because they enjoy the making up period.

16. Neediness, when someone expects you to answer them asap and ALL THE TIME.

17. Claiming to want to better themselves in areas that are important to you, then never ever doing it.

18. Telling your friends things that should’ve been kept private between the two of you.

19. Being selfish in bed.

20. Stereotyping/sexism/racism. Like as soon as something totally ignorant and prejudiced comes out of someone’s mouth, no matter how sexy that person was, it’s a “no” for me.

21. Name calling. Maybe not a deal breaker for everyone, but I’ve always felt like there was no excuse for anyone to call me derogatory names.

22. For me it’s a lack of understanding that I need time to myself. When I’m in a relationship I’ll do just about anything I can to make her smile. But sometimes I just need 30 minutes on my own to relax.

23. Taking everything too serious.

24. Having no ambition.

25. Chewing so damn loud as if they’ve never had food before.

26. Constantly talking about sex and nothing else like you’re some teenager high on hormones.

27. Littering or being rude to service staff. I will straight up end that relationship right then and there.

28. Too much talking and no listening.

29. A big red flag in either a romantic relationship or just a friendship for me, is when the person you’re talking to is always either the hero or the victim in every story they tell.

Usually a pretty good indicator on how they view themselves / interact with the world, and it usually means they’re going to be “my way or the highway” or “everyone else is to blame for everything.”

Both are insufferable qualities.

30. Not letting the other speak, or generally not showing an interest in what the other person has to say. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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