how to tell if a guy likes you

The Definitive Ways to Tell If a Guy Likes You (15+ Ways to Know FOR SURE) [2020]

In this world of dating, social media, and the art of body language and good conversation, it can be hard to tell if the person you’re talking to actually likes you. There’s always some complications and uncertainty and sometimes we might be too afraid to ask, straight up, “do you like me?” 

So if you have a crush on a guy or maybe you’re noticing you have a guy friend who’s acting a little more flirtatious than usual, here are some signs to look out for:

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You As More Than A Friend:

He’ll talk and show affection through his body language. 

Body language is so important

If you’re walking together, he’ll try and match his pace with yours, and sometimes, he might even try and reach out to hold your hand (unless he’s a shy guy and then he might not be that bold). You might even notice the subtle way of him flirting and showing that he’s interested: he’ll brush his hand up against yours or he stands close to you while you’re waiting for your table at the restaurant. If he’s not on his phone and or looking around at the other women nearby, this is a good sign that he’s interested in you and the time you’re sharing. 

If he makes eye contact with you, if he smiles at you, or if he turns his body or feet towards you while you’re having a conversation, that means he’s interested in you and what you’re saying. If he’s giving you his undivided attention, that’s a sure sign that he likes you. If he respects your personal space but also wants to show that he likes you, he’ll touch you in a subtle and respectful way to show his interest. 

He’ll try to impress you.

Whether he’s cracking jokes to get you to laugh or smile, or stretching his muscles or lifting something heavy to show how strong he is, he’s trying to get your attention. It all depends on how he goes about it, though. There’s a good chance he might be peacocking because he’s cocky, but he also might just be playing the cool guy to show you what he can offer. Whatever he’s doing (or saying), it’s most likely with good intentions. It’s an obvious, big sign that he just wants you to notice him. 

He’ll take initiative. 

If a guy texts you, calls you or sends you a funny meme on Instagram just to have some sort of conversation, he definitely likes you! He wants your attention one way or another and he’ll have no problem taking initiative in a conversation. If a guy avoids Snapchat and puts more of an effort into having a conversation with you, there’s a good chance it’s more than just sexual attraction and that he’s interested in more than just your appearance or how he can get you into bed with him.

Here’s a scenario: you see this guy at a party for a mutual friend and you two hit it off. There was some flirting and pretty obvious sexual tension with intense eye contact. If he was actually interested in getting to know you as a person, he’ll reach out to that friend and try to get in contact with you. This is a good sign

He’ll ask to spend time with you.

If a guy wants to see you, he’ll make that obvious and he’ll do so by asking! Whether it’s getting coffee, going out to dinner, walking in a park, or watching a movie together, he’s taking the time to see you and spend time with you. Don’t let yourself get involved with a man who puts in half-ass efforts to spend time with you, especially if he claims to like you. 

Pro tip: if a man wants to see you, he’ll offer to do something that you love to do. For example, if you like to roller skate or rock climb, he’ll try and turn that into a dating activity. If you want to spend time thrifting and browsing bookstores and he says he’d love to join you, take him up on it. If he’s spending time with you in your element, that means he cares! 

Don’t get confused in his ways though. There’s a difference between a man who wants to see you during the day or for dinner and drinks and a man who wants to see you after 10pm to watch a movie. If a guy wants to see you after a certain time, understand that this is, in fact, a booty call. That’s not to say there’s anything wrong with a booty call — unless you’re looking for a committed and serious romantic relationship, and then a conversation needs to be had and boundaries need to be set. 

Be sure to have a conversation about what you both want and if you’re feeling the same way about the relationship. The last thing you want is to spend time with a guy who you have true feelings for and who just wants someone to hook up with. If you’re aware that you both want different things, don’t put yourself in a position to get hurt! 

He remembers and notices the little things about you. 

Maybe he notices that one strand of hair on your head that always curls or the little crinkle by your eye when you smile. Maybe he remembers your favorite song, how you take your coffee, or that your favorite Jolly Rancher flavor is green apple. If he notices and remembers the little things, it’s a clear sign that he’s interested in you. 

If a guy asks questions about you and your life, that means he cares one way or another. If a guy pays close attention to you and you and your life (but not in a creepy, way like finding your Facebook and where you went to high school), or he remembers the things you like or the things you talk about or notices little details about your personality or appearance, that means he cares. 

He’ll compliment you.

Sure, he can shower you with compliments on social media by liking your Instagram photo or replying to your Snapchat story with 😍😍😍😍, but if he can compliment you when texting, FaceTiming, or together in person, then it’s obvious that he’s attracted to you. 

With that being said, if this guy actually likes you, the compliments will be more than just physical. If he actually likes you, he’ll look you in your eye and compliment your personality too. Sure, he can tell you that you have a beautiful smile and soft hair and a nice body, but he should also praise you for your intelligence, your charisma, your humor, your love for animals, your creativity. 

He’ll care about making a good impression on the people in your life. 

If a guy likes you–and I mean he likes you and he’s on the road to true love–he’ll make an effort into having a relationship with the people in your life. He’ll find ways to get on the good side of your friends and family and coworkers and he’ll want to have some semblance of a relationship with them. The last thing either of you wants is to go to a party and have him sit quietly on the couch because he doesn’t know anyone! He’ll make an effort with them simply because they’re people in your life and they’re people that matter to you. 

He’ll try and be the best version of himself he can be.

When a guy really likes you, he’s gonna do everything in his power to show you that he’s worth your time. Sure, he’ll try and impress you with his talents and skills, but he’ll also be a respectful gentleman.

He’ll open doors for you, pay for your food, drive you or call you an Uber home. He’ll be kind and respectful to you, your friends, and your family. He’ll be patient with you. He won’t pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do because he respects you and your body. If he does something that rubs you the wrong way and you confront him about it, he won’t get defensive but rather, apologetic and understanding and wanting to be better.

He’ll tell you! 

The biggest and most obvious way you can tell if a guy likes you is if he tells you, straight up, “I like you!”  

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You Online Or Through Text

If you’re talking to a guy online–texting, through Instagram DMs, or on a dating app–it might be a little harder to see the signs of attraction.

First and foremost: if a guy is talking to you and you haven’t met in person yet, try to figure out his relationship status. You might have to do some light digging, or you can simply ask him if he’s single or not. Once you’ve got that established, then you’re on the road to flirting and good conversation.

If a guy likes you and is flirting through the phone one way or another, he’ll most likely ask to FaceTime or call you simply because he wants to see your face and hear your voice. He might also ask to see pictures of you–even if it’s a selfie of you or a picture you haven’t posted on Instagram (yet), he’ll love to see your face. It just feels a lot more personal to him. He’ll also say things like, “I wish I was with you” or “if I was there with you right now…” This is clear that he’s thinking about you and wanting to spend time with you. 

One of the most controversial ways to tell if a guy likes you is how quickly or frequently he responds to you. This is a super confusing and unreliable way to tell if a guy likes you because every guy and his texting habits are different. Now, if you’re texting and maintaining good conversation and he stops replying out of the blue, it might be because he’s busy. Plain and simple — he got caught up doing something. Or, he might struggle to come up with a witty reply simply because he’s not interested. Again, it all depends on who he is as a texter.

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You When He Has A Girlfriend 

Let’s say you have a guy friend who has a girlfriend or boyfriend, but there’s been a subtle sign or two, hinting at the idea that maybe he has a secret crush on you. 

Maybe, when you guys are together, he’ll touch your arm, make eye contact with you, or initiate a conversation through text or in person. Or, if he’s a really bad boyfriend, he’ll try to kiss you or send unsolicited pictures of you-know-what. If that’s the unfortunate case, you just might have to confront this man with the big, awkward question: are you flirting with me? 

If he’s a real man with some semblance of bravery, he’ll own up to it. Whether or not he tells his girlfriend or boyfriend about it, be the better woman or man you are, and tell their partner about the situation. He or she will appreciate the honesty of at least one of you. 

How To Tell If A Guy Likes You At Work

So there’s a guy at work that you’ve had a little crush on and you can’t help but wonder, does he like me back or is he just being friendly?

When getting into an office romance, it’s important to tiptoe around it until you are absolutely sure this is what you both want. You don’t want there to be tension by the water cooler.

With that being said, if there’s a guy at work who you think may or may not like you, it all comes down to a handful of signs. If you catch him looking at you in a meeting, he’s definitely more interested in you rather than the presentation. He might find a reason to go to your desk and talk to you too; he’ll ask if you need water or coffee or maybe he’ll just stop by to say hi. If he asks questions about your life and starts to tell you things about his life, he clearly wants more than just office chit-chat. Maybe, if he’s brave, he’ll ask if you’re single or if you want to do something together after work. If he’s smiling a lot around you or maintaining eye contact, there’s definitely some attraction there.

If you like a guy at work and you think he might like you back, he’ll be respectful and kind in the way he’s going about the situation (hopefully). If he can’t be a gentleman–especially at work–ask for some personal space and move on.

Guys can be really confusing, especially when it comes to romance and dating. Let’s get one thing straight though: if a guy likes you, he’ll tell you one way or another. Whether it be through the hints of body language and eye contact or doing something to impress you or straight up telling you that he likes you if a guy is interested in you and the attention you can give him, he’ll make that obvious. And if he doesn’t do these things and he doesn’t like you, it’s his loss!

About the author
January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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